Eternal Night
by x.madz.x
Summary: Basically Midnight Sun but for New Moon, therefore all EPOV. All quotes direct from New Moon. Starts 4 months after Edward leaves, finishes at the end of New Moon.
1. I Left Her

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own twilight or anything that is in any way linked the Twilight Saga. Alright?_

_This is just Edward's POV in New Moon, exactly like Midnight Sun. Everything in this story belongs to Steph Meyer including the plot. I've just filled in the blanks. _

It had been about four months now. I assumed that it was four months, but I could be wrong. I hadn't really been paying attention. I was in the middle of a jungle somewhere, Brazil I thought. I didn't really know because it didn't matter. This wasn't where I wanted to be. I stopped the thought in its tracks. I couldn't think about it. It only made it worse.

I refocused on a droplet of water hanging from a leaf in front of my face. It had been raining for three days straight and almost all of Victoria's scent had been washed away. Well, I was a useless tracker anyway. Thinking of Victoria made a small ripple of anger run through me. Anger was pretty much all I felt anymore, besides pain. It was all for _her_ of course. To make the world safer for her. She was so fragile, so soft— No. I scolded myself silently. Thinking her name will just make it harder. But I couldn't help it.

_Bella._

A moan escaped my lips. How could I leave her? The sole reason for my existence and I left her! What if she is still lying there, waiting for me? No, I told myself again. Alice had called me, told me that she would be found. I uncurled from my position, knees to chest, chin to knees, sitting on the forest floor. I had to go back. Just to catch a glimpse of her, assure me that she was moving on. But I couldn't, I knew that. One look and I would be on the ground in front of her, begging for her to take me back.

The tiny pieces of my heart ached painfully. It was broken beyond repair. Who knew a silent, unbeating heart could break? Mine certainly had.

I knew, beyond a doubt, that I wouldn't last much longer not seeing her. I was past trying to live through one day, one hour at a time. It was coming down to minutes. I shook my head violently, but I couldn't dislodge the thoughts of her swirling around my head. I stood up quickly, closing my eyes so I could smell Victoria better. I regretted it instantly.

Looking back at me from behind my eyelids was Bella's face. Anguished, confused, frightened. The last expression I had seen her with. Her deep chocolate eyes stared back at me, pleading, begging for me to stay. I moaned again, more quietly this time. How could she believe me so quickly? After all the times I said I loved her? What was she _thinking? _I needed to know she was alright, that she was happy. If she was happy I could last a little bit longer.

I thought about calling Alice, to make sure, so of course the phone vibrated in my pocket. Sighing I fished it out of my pocket, glancing at the call register to make sure it was really Alice.

"Hello?" my voice was empty, lifeless. Alice was the opposite.

"Edward! Why didn't you call sooner? Esme has been frantic." Alice rushed on at full speed.

"Anyway, I know why your calling and I swear I wasn't keeping tabs of her, it's just I'm already attuned so I can't control what—"

"Alice that's fine." I said, cutting her off. My voice was still dead.

"I just want to know how she's been, then I'm going to keep going after Victoria." I didn't know if I could though. Her scent was almost completely washed away.

I realised Alice hadn't said anything.

"Alice? Are you still there?" not that it mattered anyway. I could feel my resolve wavering. I could just go back for one day....

"Yeah, I'm still here." She said quietly. I was surprised. Alice was never quiet.

"Edward, I've seen how you're going to react to this news, and I don't really want to tell you."

I waited, somewhat impatiently.

"Don't break the phone." She warned me.

"Alice, tell me" the words came out in a growl. A flicker a shame ran through me.

I could almost hear Alice bitting her lip.

"Umm.... well I'll tell you the good news first then." She rushed through the words, even faster than usual.

"Bella's going out to see a movie with Jessica tonight. Their going into Port Angeles and tomorrow she's going to volunteer to answer a question in class." She gushed. The way she said this made me think it wasn't a regular occurrence.

Alice went on. "She smiled today and she talked to Charlie without him starting the conversation."

She was running out of steam.

"And...Umm--"

But then it clicked. If this was the good news...

A deep growl built up in my chest, making me shake.

"Edward," Alice squeaked. "Careful of the phone!"

I realised that the plastic of the phone was bent almost to breaking point. Willpower alone made me loosen my grip. My breaths came uneven and rough and it felt like the huge, gaping hole my torso had grown to twice its size. The deep growling in my stomach got louder.

"Four months?" my voice was scarcely a whisper, but the pain made the words choked.

"Edward it's alright, she's getting better!"

"_Four months?!"_ I repeated. I couldn't breathe. An odd choking made its way up my throat.

"She still hasn't gotten over me after _FOUR MONTHS?!"_

"I know it's hard to take in, but she _is_ getting better! She smiled and laughed today! Just because it happened later than you wanted doesn't mean anything! She's getting better!" Alice insisted, talking even faster, so I struggled to catch the words.

The choking sound faded. I just kept repeating to myself over and over, she's getting better, she's getting better. Well, that was more than I could say for myself.

"Thanks, Alice." I was whispering again.

"Will you come home?" Alice asked, already resigned to my answer.

"No, I—I can't. I'm sorry. It would just hurt everyone more." There was no need for anyone else to see me like this.

"I Love you Edward. Just think about calling me and I'll know."

"Thanks, Alice. Bye." I flipped my phone shut.

The rain was coming down harder but I didn't even notice.

_Four months. _

Silently, I began tracking Victoria where I had left off.

***** *****

Seven months had passed, and I was hunting.

I had been trying to ignore the burn deep in my throat, but I had reached my limit. I had already caught two jaguars. Even though the burn was still there, I had no desire to keep hunting.

I was about to return to tracking when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I briefly considered ignoring it, but the vibration was annoying.

"Hello?" my voice was even worse than before. It sounded almost human it was that rough. I fought the urge to shudder.

The voice that answered me was a stark contrast to my voice. It sounded like golden wind chimes.

"Edward? You sound like crap." Rosalie was as direct as always.

"What do you want?" I said in my dispassionate voice.

"Ummm..." Rosalie was reluctant. _Rosalie_ was _reluctant?_

"What's going on?" I said quickly. "What is it?" had something happened to my family? My voice had an undercurrent of panic in it.

"Edward I... I don't know how to tell you this...but...it's about Bella." Rosalie said nervously.

I froze, my body like ice. What could make Rosalie sound like this?

"She...she's dead, Edward. She jumped off a cliff. Alice is going to forks now to help Charlie.....I...I'm sorry." Rosalie was sorry. Rosalie was _sorry?!_

I didn't answer. I was frozen. Absolutely motionless.

"Edward?" Rosalie's tentative voice came over the phone.

I didn't even hear her. My finger moved to the end call button and I hung up.

I stood there, phone to my ear.

Bella was dead. No, it couldn't be true. No. NO! The world would feel different somehow.

I couldn't exist in a world where she didn't.

My fingers moved over the keys, dialling out a number I never thought I would again.

The phone rang twice before a deep, husky voice answered.

"Swan residence." I recognised the voice from somewhere but it didn't register. Nothing mattered but my next question.

"It's Dr. Cullen." Some part of my brain still working gave me what I needed to say. "Is Charlie there?" I didn't ask for Bella. What if she _was_ dead?

"He's not here." The voice had changed. It was cold, menacing.

"Where is he?" my voice reacted to the change. I was bordering on rude.

There was a short pause before the answer. "He's at the funeral."

I hung up.

Without being aware of my reaction, I shut the phone and put it my pocket.

I stood there, motionless. My head was trying to process the information, but it was too painful.

I was too late to do anything. I couldn't save her this time.

My mind was made up before I had even comprehended what I was thinking.

I was going to Italy.

***** *****

The flight to Florence was a nightmare, worse than a nightmare. It was Hell.

I could barely communicate that I wanted a ticket to Italy, let alone where in Italy.

I knew I was in denial, but it couldn't be true. She _couldn't_ be dead.

The hostess on the plane tried to offer me refreshments at the start of the flight but the look I gave her scared her half to death. Her thoughts had been paralysed as she stumbled away.

It was just after dusk when we landed, something I hadn't even planned for. Not that I cared anyway.

_Bella. _

I was beyond pain and sadness. I was empty, nothing left.

Walking out into the street, I briefly considered stealing a car to be less conspicuous, but quickly dismissed the idea. What did it matter anyway?

I broke into a run, moving so fast human eyes wouldn't be able to spot me. This was faster anyway. I missed the usual feeling of exhilaration as I ran. I was empty inside.

I ran constantly, I don't know how long for, until Volterra's ancient sienna walls and towers appeared, crowning the peak of a steep hill.

Without realising, I began to move more cautiously and stuck to the shadows.

I decided to be direct. I made my way through the dark cobblestone alleyways until I came to the main square. The fountain threw moonlight in all directions, bathing the square in its silvery glow.

As I prepared to cross the square, some thoughts on my left caught my attention. I turned my head towards another dark ally, and standing just behind the wall of moonlight was a tiny, still figure, dressed in a dark grey cloak that was almost black.

I immediately recognised the figure as Alec. _Well_, I thought with no emotion, _it's better than running into Jane. _

Without pausing in the step I was already taking, I turned towards the small vampire and followed him deeper into the forbidding, ancient city.

***** *****

I followed Alec into the plush reception, barely noticing the cosily placed couches and tall vases of flowers lining the walls.

Alec must have picked up on my mood because he hadn't once tried talking to me.

I listened to his thoughts, just for something to do. Anything to try and relieve me of the pain that filled my entire body. But Alec wasn't thinking about anything vaguely interesting. Or maybe that was just my current frame of mind.

Walking through the antechamber that resembled the sewers below, my mind returned to thoughts I would rather forget. Bella's laugh, her smile. I would never see them again. My face scrunched in agony. It was still in that position when I walked into the room.

"Alec! I wasn't expecting to see you until morning! Do you have news for me?" Aro's soft sighing voice filled the room, brimming with happiness. Behind him Caius and Marcus were seated on thrones, beautifully embroidered and painted gold.

Aro's happiness sparked a wild reaction from me. How could he be happy? How could anyone anywhere ever be happy again? Luckily I kept my thoughts silent.

"Master." Alec greeted him, bowing his head before turning slightly to bring me to Aro's attention.

I listened to his shocked thoughts, which quickly turned hopeful.

"Edward? Is that you? You look so much like Carlisle!" Aro exclaimed happily. I was disgusted though, listening to his thoughts. He wanted me to join the guard. I choked back a black humoured laugh. He would be very disappointed.

I inclined my head in greeting and wondered how much time I would have to waste on idle conversation. As it turned out, very little time was wasted.

My silence brought my mood to his attention. Curiosity dawned on his face.

"May I?" Aro held out his hand as if to shake mine. Even drowning in my depression I was a gentleman. I nodded again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Caius lean forward slightly, but then Aro grasped my hand.

I concentrated hard on his mind and was slightly shocked when I saw my entire life flashing through his head. He was literally looking at every thought I had ever had.

I waited impatiently, something that was not lost on Aro, and waited for him to get to the reason I was here.

Moving through my mind in chronological order, I realised what he was going to see. _Bella._

The first time I saw her, the first time I watched her sleep, the times I had stalked her with my mind in school, the time I saved her in Port Angeles, her laughs, her aversion to gifts, her pure, good heart.

I wanted him to stop. I couldn't stand it. Agony ripped through me, causing me to quiver.

But Aro kept going. Every kiss, every touch.

The last time I had seen her flashed through Aro's head and I felt like I would collapse. Her face was anguished, confused, frightened. The last expression I had seen her with. Her deep chocolate eyes stared at me, pleading, begging for me to stay.

I gently tried to release my hand, but Aro kept a firm grip.

My time tracking Victoria came next, seven months of my life flickered by in less than two seconds.

Rosalie's phone call. Hearing it again only made it worse.

"_She...she's dead, Edward. She jumped off a cliff. Alice is going to forks now to help Charlie.....I...I'm sorry."_

Pain, worse than anything yet crashed through my head. I shuddered. My Bella, my love, my life, gone. _Dead_.

I would soon follow one way or another.

Aro released my hand and it fell limply back to my side. I turned quickly so I couldn't see his expression.

"Edward, are you sure that is what you wish to ask for? There is no going back after all." Aro voice resonated pity but not sadness.

I couldn't bring myself to speak. I nodded again.

I tried to block out Aro's thoughts but with little success. His pity, his slight anger, a waste. That was what he was thinking. Wasteful.

I already knew what he had decided, but maybe Caius and Marcus would vote differently.

"I will convene with my brothers and we will call for you when we are finished. If you please just wait in the reception area." Aro smiled weakly at me.

I nodded once more before turning and leaving at inhuman speed.

If only Alice was here to tell me what they would decide.

***** *****

No. They would not give me what I wanted. Of course not. Anger pulsated through me, weaker than the pain but still very powerful.

Marcus had voted against my request. Caius had been all for it, but Marcus wouldn't hear of it. I knew why, so I couldn't hold it against him. He had lost his mate and he thought he knew what I was going through. But he didn't. No one did.

I would force their hand. I would make it so they would _have_ to kill me. _I would break the rule. _Never reveal our existence. The one and only law our kind had.

A thousand different plans moved through my head. Each one dismissed because it wasn't enough.

I moved as fast as I could, out into the dawn, the first rays of sunlight glittering faintly off my face.

I knew what I could do. The one thing that would anger the Volturi enough to kill me.

I would go hunting in their own city.

My eyes were pitch black, darker than they had ever been before. I knew there were dark lines under my eyes. I was dangerous.

I let my instincts take me, something I would never do this close to humans normally. Their delicious scent everywhere. Excess Venom was building up in my mouth and the burn of my throat was almost unbearable. I slid forward into a hunting crouch, moving at inhuman speed to the closest house. The person inside smelt delicious, but they had nothing on Bella.

I stopped, just meters away from my intended victim.

Hadn't I always tried to be better for Bella? To make sure she didn't love a monster? What if she was in heaven and this one act sent me to hell? It was a slim possibility that I would go to heaven anyway, but could I risk it? Risk my eternity with Bella?

I turned and ran as fast as I could. I didn't stop until I was alone in an ally shrouded with darkness.

I would do something else, something that wouldn't harm anyone.

I watched from my place as the sunlight hit the top of the clock tower.

That was it. The sunlight. I would wait until the sun was as high as it could go in the sky, then step out into the crowded street. Perfect.

I looked up. There were red flags flying everywhere. Saint Marcus day, the nineteenth.

_Even better._

_I'd appreciate it if you would review....Flames accepted. _


	2. The End

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own anything to do with the Twilight Saga. I hope you're all happy, ruining my dreams like that. *runs away crying*_

The crowds built very quickly but no one ventured down the alleyway I had chosen. It was right next to the clock tower and very dark.

The sun rose slowly and I just sat completely still watching it creep down the clock tower.

I spent my remaining time with Bella. The reason of my existence, cruelly taken before her time.

I chose the least painful memories I could. All of them hurt, but there were some that were happy.

The look of surprise on her face, when I picked her up off the footpath because she was ill at school.

Her reaction the first time I kissed her. Watching her sleep while she dreamed of me.

I paid little attention to the thoughts around me, even when Demetri and Felix appeared, to keep an eye on me I supposed.

Time moved more quickly than I was anticipating, and for that I was glad. The sooner the end came the sooner I could be with Bella.

A small family of four stood at the entranceway of the side-street I was sitting in. They would be the first ones to see me when I revealed myself.

When the clock high above my head reached one minute to twelve I stood, slowly releasing the buttons on my shirt, and dropped the garment at my feet.

My chest glittered faintly in the darkness, but I ignored it. My end was coming. It was so close I could feel it.

I briefly wondered if Alice would see my death. I hoped she wouldn't. I would cause her pain, nothing compared to what I was going through, but I hoped she wouldn't hurt.

I relaxed my body. It would be easier for Demetri and Felix to tear me to pieces. I knew their orders. If I acted to expose us, they would act faster.

I moved right to the edge of the shadows, waiting for the last toll of the clock tower.

A deep, booming chime echoed through the square, making the stones throb under my feet.

After the roar of the chime I heard someone call my name. It sounded like Bella.

_I'm coming, _I thought. _I'll be with you soon._ A small smile barely lifted the corner of my mouth.

The clock tolled again, bringing with it Bella calling my name.

Over and over I heard it, coming closer each time. The calls seemed to grow more desperate with each toll that passed and by the eighth chime I was ready. The smile on my face more pronounced, I began the step forward that would put me directly in the light of the sun.

I heard running footsteps and a second later, she slammed into my arms. I caught and steadied her automatically, before slowly opening my eyes. Ah, how lovely it was to see her again.

"Amazing," I said quietly. I was surprised but incredibly happy. "Carlisle was right."

I thought back to how I had patronised him, not really believing in a life that awaited us after death.

I greedily took in Bella's appearance, the first time I had seen her in seven months. She was a little more tired than I remembered, deep bags under her eyes.

"Edward," she whispered. A thrill went through me to hear her voice again.

"You've got to get back in the shadows. You have to move!" her perfect, breathless voice was marred by something. Fear, that was it. How strange.

It felt like she was trying to push me back but I couldn't tell. All I could concentrate on was her touch against my bare skin.

My life had ended so quickly. I didn't even notice.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing—they're very good." I voiced my thoughts. I noticed how I had healed in her presence, the hole in my chest gone.

"_Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty."_

I murmured, quoting Romeo's line spoken in the tomb.

"You smell just exactly the same as always," I went on conversationally. "So maybe this _is_ hell. I don't care. I'll take it." It was true, she made my mouth water, but nothing could diminish the happiness of the moment.

"I'm not dead." She interrupted me. "And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!" she twisted in my arms and I became confused.

"What was that?" I asked, being polite.

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi—"

The ramifications of her words rushed through my head. Not dead?

And then I noticed the noise from the square, the people's thoughts and closer still, the thoughts of Felix and Demetri.

I caught hold of Bella, reminding myself to be gentle, before spinning her away from the sunlight.

I made sure she was tight against the wall before turning to face the threat. I automatically spread my arms wide in front of Bella, protecting her.

After she was as safe as she could be in the present situation, I turned to Felix and Demetri.

"Greetings, Gentlemen." I kept my voice smooth and calm, but I was only just hiding my fury. They couldn't take her away from me again, just when I had her back.

"I don't think I'll be requiring you services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your Masters." I only just managed to keep my composure.

Felix spoke menacingly. "Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" his subtle threat was not lost on me.

The anger suddenly got harder to control and my voice became hard.

"I don't believe that will be necessary. I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules." Although I had come quite close.

Demetri could see that this conversation could get out of control very quickly, and he tried a soothing tone. "Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun. Let us seek better cover."

Behind me, Bella's breathing hitched and broke. She was scared.

"I'll be right behind you." I answered dryly. "Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?" I knew my ploy to get her out was doomed before I even spoke.

Felix's answer was swift. "No, bring the girl." His thoughts turned to his hunger. He wanted her for himself.

"I don't think so." I answered his thoughts and his words. My voice was icy, and I shifted my weight, preparing for the fight that Felix wanted.

"No." I heard Bella mouth the word behind me. She must be terrified, yet she was concerned for me.

"Shh." I whispered only for her, trying to infuse all my love into the simple sound.

Demetri didn't like where Felix was going with the conversation. He knew he could be unpredictable.

"Felix," he cautioned. "Not here." He turned to me, explaining.

"Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all." His placating tone matched that of his thoughts. He did not want this to happen here. His eyes were constantly flickering to the small family standing closest to us.

"Certainly," I agreed. "But the girl goes free." I was bargaining but I knew I had nothing to bargain with.

"I'm afraid that's not possible," Demetri was apologetic. "We do have rules to obey."

"Then _I'm_ afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri." I answered.

"That's just fine." Felix purred. He was toying with the idea of taking me on his own in the fast approaching fight.

"Aro will be disappointed." Demetri sighed.

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown." My mind was going through the options, tying to figure a way out. It didn't look good.

Felix and Demetri stole closer toward the mouth of the ally, spreading out slightly to force me back. The perfectly choreographed move had worked many times, according to Felix's thoughts.

I didn't move. I knew to keep the advantage I should have shifted but I couldn't expose Bella, even for a second.

I listened closely to Demetri's thoughts, waiting for the attack, but from further down the alley, I heard a very familiar set of thoughts, which were yelling my name at top volume.

Abruptly, it seemed to everyone, I turned my head in Alice's direction. Felix and Demetri followed suite, less than half a second behind me.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we?" Alice's lilting voice announced her arrival to Bella. "There are ladies present." She came to stand at my side, her body language showing no tension, but she could not hide her thoughts as well.

Both Volturi guards both straitened up and Felix's thoughts soured. He didn't like even numbers.

Next to me, Alice was playing out one of her visions, following it like a script.

_It's the only way to get out,_ She thought before continuing her performance.

"We're not alone." She reminded them.

I didn't even turn to look at the family standing at the mouth of the alley.

I concentrated on Demetri and watched as he shook his head.

"Please, Edward, let's be reasonable." He said.

"Let's," I countered. "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser."

Demetri sighed in frustration. "At least let us discuss this more privately."

I tried to tune out Felix but his thoughts were very loud.

I heard my teeth come together in anger. "No."

Felix smiled.

"Enough."

Jane's high, reedy voice came from behind us.

Demetri and Felix relaxed instantly, and I dropped my arms in defeat.

"Jane." I sighed in recognition and resignation.

Alice's thoughts came from beside me. _Just stick to the script, no deviations. _

Alice crossed her arms and remained impassive. She had seen what would happen if a fight broke out now.

"Follow me." Jane spoke again, her childish voice a monotone. Without turning to see if we were indeed following, she led the way back down the alley. She didn't need to check if we were following. Who would dare appose her?

Felix gestured for us to go first, smirking.

Alice was already following after Jane so I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and pulled her gently alongside me. We walked in step with Alice as the alley angled downward and narrowed.

Bella looked up at me, a thousand questions in her eyes, but I just shook my head. Felix was watching us closely, his thoughts centred on Bella. If she said anything it could compromise Alice's plans.

My role in Alice's vision was coming up, but it was likely that I would have asked anyway.

"Well Alice," I went on conversationally, feeling Bella pressed to my side, smelling her wonderful scent. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"It was my mistake," Alice answered in the same tone. "It was my job to set it right."

My curiosity spiked and I fought to keep my voice uninterested. "What happened?"

"It's a long story." Alice's eyes flickered toward Bella then away. "In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about the extreme sports these days."

Bella's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as Alice quickly told me the story in her head.

Near-drowning, Victoria, Laurent, Jacob and his werewolf friends. Her pain.

I only just managed to respond. "Hm." Was all I could manage. What had I done?

After a loose curve in the alley we reached the open hole in the street. Jane had already dropped through and Alice didn't hesitate or break stride as she strode toward the wall behind it. With easy grace she slid straight through.

Bella hadn't noticed where we were heading until Alice disappeared. I felt her resist and when I looked down she looked paler than usual. I didn't want her to be scared but I didn't have a choice.

"It's all right, Bella," I tried to comfort her in a low voice. "Alice will catch you."

She looked at the black hole, doubt all over her beautiful face. I didn't want her to have to go before me, but with Demetri and especially Felix standing behind us, I couldn't risk leaving her without Alice or myself.

I was forced to relinquish my grip of her waist as she crouched down over the hole, before lowering her legs through.

"Alice?" she whispered, her voice trembling.

"I'm right here, Bella" Alice reassured her.

I took her wrists, carefully holding on because she was so fragile, and lowered her into the darkness. Well, it was dark for her.

"Ready?" I asked Alice. I already knew she was waiting but I was making Bella feel safer.

"Drop her." Alice called.

I saw Bella's face crumple with terror but I let her fall. I didn't have a choice.

I heard Alice catch her, and moved at inhuman speed so I could be with her sooner.

I moved closer to her, wrapping my arm around her again, before towing her forward.

She responded, both her arms encircling my waist, as she tripped and stumbled her way along side me.

Her frantic heartbeat and erratic breathing told me how she was faring. I was sure she was close to screaming.

I held her more tightly and reached my free hand over to stroke her face, the first time in seven months. Her fragile cheek, just silk over glass, was warm to my touch. I traced her lips, so soft and warm like her cheek. I pressed my face into her hair, just enjoying the smell of her. I kissed her head, and felt the happiness of it, offsetting the fear the subterranean tunnel must be causing her. I could see every detail of the walls and ground, but I knew it would be very dark to her.

She pulled herself closer to me every now and then, realising this may be the only reunion we got.

Behind me, Felix was frustrated with the pace we were moving at and every now and then he would sigh.

Bella started shaking. I thought it was from the overwhelming fear of the tunnel and our company, but then her teeth started chattering. I realised she was cold and let go of her waist, keeping only her hand. I didn't want to but she was a higher priority than what I wanted.

But she didn't want me to let go. "N-n-no." She chattered throwing her arms around me. I moved my hand up and down her arm, trying to warm her with the friction.

We continued to move through the tunnel at her pace, Felix sighing behind me.

I saw the end of the tunnel long before Bella did, the iron bars rusting, but as thick as her arm. A door made of thinner, interlaced bars stood open. We moved into the brighter room and Demetri closed it with a bang, snapping a lock shut at the same time. We moved through another set of doors into the same hallway I had walked through before.

Bella relaxed automatically as we walked into the brightly lit hallway, but I tensed, my jaw clenched tight. I gave the deceiving hallway a dark look as we followed Jane to an elevator at the end of it.

I barely noticed as the door was shut behind us and a bolt slid home. Jane was holding the elevator open for us, her expression indifferent. Her thoughts confirmed the expression. She was bored because we had come so easily.

Stepping inside the elevator the three Volturi relaxed. Their hoods fell back and their faces became calm.

Standing in the corner, Bella cringed against me. I was still rubbing her arm but I kept my eyes firmly locked on Jane.

We walked through the reception area, passing a woman called Gianna who acted as receptionist.

Too my surprise she knew exactly what we were.

"Good Afternoon, Jane." Her face held no hint of the curiosity that burned inside her. She was very good at her job.

Jane nodded to her. "Gianna."

As Felix walked past her he winked, Gianna's thoughts becoming incoherent as she giggled.

As we walked past the receptionist, another kind of welcome was waiting. Alec was standing, waiting for us. His thoughts filled with relief as Jane walked around the corner.

"Jane." He smiled reaching for her.

"Alec." She responded, embracing him.

"They send you out for one and you come back with two...and a half." He said, noticing Bella. "Nice work." He complemented her.

Jane's delighted laughter filled the room.

Alec's attention turned to me. "Welcome back, Edward." Alec greeted me. "You seem in a better mood." He had picked up on my uplifted mood, now that I knew Bella was alive.

"Marginally." I agreed in a flat voice. Although I was happy Bella was alive, I was extremely angry of our present situation.

Alec chuckled before turning to look at Bella. "And this is the cause of all the trouble?" he was very sceptical. He couldn't understand my love for the beautiful creature beside me.

I smiled, contemptuous, but Felix's thoughts interrupted me. He was claiming Bella for himself, to anger me.

"Dibs." He called casually from behind.

I turned, a low snarl building deep in my chest.

Felix smiled, raising his hand in a gesture that said bring it on.

Alice stepped forward, touching my arm. "Patience." She warned. Her vision showed what would happen if I fought Felix. I fought the urge to shudder at seeing the picture of Bella dead on the ground. That could not happen.

I took a deep breath before turning back to Alec.

"Aro will so pleased to see you again." Alec said as if nothing had passed.

Jane, eager to agree with him added, "Let's not keep him waiting."

I nodded once, preparing myself for what was coming.

Holding hands, Alec and Jane led the way.

We walked into a different room to the one I had entered last time. Almost all of the Volturi was in here, excluding Caius and Marcus.

Aro was expecting us but he was still happy to see Jane again.

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" he said with evident delight.

He moved forward and kissed Jane lightly on her lips before moving back slightly.

"Yes, Master." Jane answered, the ever angelic child. "I brought him back alive, just as you wished."

Aro hadn't expected anything different, but he still complemented her. "You are such a comfort to me." Still smiling.

He turned to us, taking in our group, and I watched as his smile became ecstatic.

"And Alice and Bella too!" he exclaimed clapping his hands together. "This _is_ a happy surprise! Wonderful!" his thoughts were possessive, especially of Alice. He so wanted her to join the guard because of her unique gift.

He turned from us to Felix. "Felix, be a dear and tell my brothers about our company. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss this."

"Yes, Master." Felix nodded and disappeared back the way we had come.

"You see Edward?" Aro scolded like an adoring grandfather. "What did I tell you? Aren't you glad I didn't give you what you wanted?"

"Yes, Aro, I am." I agreed, tightening my arm around Bella's waist.

"I love a happy ending." Aro sighed. "They are so rare. But I want the whole story. How did this happen? Alice?" he turned to Alice, his curiosity taking over. "Your brother seemed to think you were infallible, but apparently there was some mistake."

"Oh, I'm far from infallible." She flashed a dazzling smile, but at the same time was asking me _how does he know what I can do?_

There was no way I could answer her so I kept silent.

"As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them." She finished.

"Your too modest," Aro chided. "I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!" he exclaimed again, an undercurrent of longing in his thoughts.

Alice flicked a glance at me. _How does he even know me?_

I couldn't answer because longing had filled Aro again, but for a different reason this time.

"I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced properly at all, have we?" Aro continued. "It's just that I feel like I know you already, and I tend to get ahead of myself. Your brother introduced us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way that he is not." Aro shook his head, the envy breaking through his composed voice.

"And also exponentially more powerful." I added dryly.

Alice was very frustrated. _Edward, tell me!_

I looked at her and swiftly explained. "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts, but he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head at the moment. Aro hears ever thought your mind has ever had."

Alice raised her eyebrows. _So that's how he knows so much about me? Everything you know, he knows? _I inclined my head. Aro didn't miss that either.

"But to be able to hear from a distance..." Aro sighed, gestured to us and the exchange that had just taken place. "That would be so _convenient_."

Aro looked over us and I heard the thoughts of Caius and Marcus enter the room, slowly followed by Felix. Everyone turned to see the new arrivals, and of course Bella turned the slowest.

"Marcus, Caius, look!" Aro crooned. "Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her! Isn't that wonderful?" both Marcus and Caius looked the same as they had last time, their thoughts the same as well.

"Let us have the story." Aro said in his feathery voice.

Marcus and Caius glided toward their thrones but Marcus stoped next to Aro, lightly touching his hand. I snorted quietly. Marcus was surprised by the amount of love I had for Bella, and the amount she felt in return.

"Thank you, Marcus." Aro said. "That's quite interesting."

Marcus glided to his chair.

I watched as Aro shook his head. "Amazing." He said. "Absolutely amazing."

Alice's frustrated thoughts interrupted me again. _What's amazing?? Would it kill him to say it out loud?_

I quickly explained. "Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of ours."

Aro smiled again. "So convenient." He repeated, more to himself than anyone else. Then he spoke to us. "It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you. It's just so difficult to understand, even now." Aro went on, staring at my arm still wrapped around Bella. "How can you stand so close to her like that?" Love, I thought to myself, and practice.

"It's not without effort." I answered calmly.

"But still—_la tua cantante! _What a waste!"

I laughed once without humour. "I look at it as more of a price."

Aro already knew how I felt, but he was still sceptical. "A very high price."

"Opportunity cost."

Aro laughed. "If I hadn't smelled her through your memories, I wouldn't have believed the call of anyone's blood could be so strong. I've never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you..."

I finished the sentence for him. "Waste it." I couldn't help the sarcastic tone of my voice.

Aro laughed again. "Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle! You remind me of him—only he was not so angry."

I didn't like being compared to Carlisle. He was much better than I was. "Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well."

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control of things, but you put him to shame."

"Hardly." I said, impatient now. I knew the preliminaries had to end soon.

Beside me, Bella's breathing spiked. She had sensed the impatience in my voice and knew what was coming.

"I am gratified by his success." Aro mused. "Your memories of him are quite a gift for me, though they astonish me exceedingly. I am surprised by how it..._pleases_ me, his success in this unorthodox path he's chosen. I expected that he would waste, weaken with time. I'd scoffed at his plan to find others who would share his peculiar vision. Yet, somehow, I'm happy to be wrong."

I didn't see a need to reply so I kept silent.

"But _your_ restraint!" Aro sighed. "I did not know such strength was possible. To inure yourself against such a siren call, not just once but again and again—if I had not felt it myself, I would not have believed."

I kept my face impassive as I gazed back at Aro, but I knew it was coming. The accusations.

Bella must have seen my underlying anger, because her breaths were not entirely even.

"Just remembering how she appeals to you..." Aro chuckled. "It makes me thirsty."

I tensed, but Aro's thoughts were amused.

"Don't be disturbed." Aro reassured me. "I mean her no harm. But I am _so_ curious, about one thing in particular." His curiosity burned, and I knew what he wanted.

He looked down at Bella, interest alive and bright in his eyes.

"May I?" he asked eagerly, lifting one hand.

"Ask _her._" I said in a flat tone. He thought I made decisions for her, like I was in charge. He couldn't be more wrong. Everything I did was for her.

"Of course, how rude of me!" Aro exclaimed. "Bella." He said addressing her directly now. "I'm fascinated that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent—so very interesting that such a thing should occur! And I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try—to see if you are an exception for _me,_ as well?"

Bella looked up at me, terror plain in her eyes. She didn't want to go anywhere near him.

I nodded in encouragement. It was necessary for Alice's vision that she take his hand.

Aro moved closer reaching out to take her hand. Bella raised hers also. It was trembling.

I realised that Aro believed his talent would still work. I watched, contemptuous, as his face showed doubt before the cool mask returned, but his thoughts showed that he was frustrated.

"So very interesting." He said as he drifted back again.

I couldn't help it. There was a slight smug smile on my face.

I listened to Aro, and in his frustration, was thinking of doing something not in Alice's plan.

He was going to get Jane to try her talent on Bella.

"A first." He said to himself. "I wonder if she is immune to other talents...Jane, dear?"

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	3. Near miss

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Twilight any anything to do with sparkly Vampires. _

"No!" I snarled the word. Alice grabbed my arm with a restraining hand, but I shook her off.

Jane was delighted that she would get to use her talent. "Yes, Master?" she asked, smiling happily up at Aro.

I was snarling louder, the sound ripping out of me as I looked at Aro with malevolent eyes.

Everyone in the room was thinking of me and the monstrosity I was inciting. Felix grinned hopefully, but Aro glared at him, and his expression turned sulking.

Aro continued, not paying the slightest attention to me. "I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to _you_."

My furious growls got louder and I moved in front of Bella to protect her from Jane's vindictive gaze.

Caius moved closer. He couldn't resist watching pain and suffering.

Jane turned to face us with her angelic features.

Alice was yelling at me in her thoughts, but she voiced her warning just as I leapt at Jane. "Don't!" she cried, but it was already too late.

Unbelievable pain filled me, making me writhe and squirm on the stone floor. I just kept from crying out loud, because I knew that would hurt Bella even more.

"Stop!" Bella's voice rang out as the pain, the second worst pain I had ever felt ripped through. It was not the worst, and for that I was glad. The worst had been when I thought Bella was dead.

"Jane." Aro called in a tranquil voice. The pain stopped, and I was frozen in surprise for a few seconds.

I heard Alice's terse voice. "He's fine." She said to Bella.

I got quickly to my feet and looked at Bella, because Jane had now turned her torture on to her.

I looked at her horror-struck, but she was fine. My gaze flickered to Jane and back again, and I relaxed in relief. Bella was fine.

I saw Bella look over at Jane, and saw her shrink back into Alice who was holding her tight.

I moved quickly back to Bella's side, touching Alice's arm so she surrendered her to me.

In front of us, Aro started laughing.

"Ha, ha, ha." He chuckled. "This is wonderful!"

Jane hissed in frustration, sinking forward into a hunting crouch, her thoughts malignant.

"Don't be but out, dear one."Aro said in a comforting tone, placing a powder-light hand on her shoulder. "She confounds us all."

Jane's upper lip curled back over her teeth as she continued to glare at Bella.

"Ha, ha, ha." Aro chortled again. "You're very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once—just out of curiosity." He shook his head in admiration.

I just glared at him, disgusted.

"So what do we do with you now?" Aro sighed.

Alice and I stiffened. This was the part where everything could go wrong. Bella started trembling.

"I don't suppose there's any chance that you've changed your mind?" Aro asked hopefully. "Your talent would be an excellent addition to our little company."

I hesitated. Alice's vision had been a little cloudy here. I still hadn't decided what to say.

"I'd...rather...not." I thought each word through before I spoke it.

"Alice?" Aro asked, still hopeful.

Alice didn't hesitate. "No, thank you."

"And you Bella?" Aro continued.

I hissed, low but loud. How could he even ask her this?

Bella seemed a little shocked, but Caius broke the slight pause.

"What?" he demanded of Aro, his voice flat.

"Caius, surely you can see the potential." Aro chided him affectionately. "I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities if she is one of us?"

Caius looked away, indignant.

I was fuming. How could he ask this of her? How _dare_ he?

"No, thank you." Bella spoke, barely more than a whisper, her voice breaking in her terror.

Aro sighed. "That's unfortunate. Such a waste."

This was it, my most important line. I hissed. "Join or die, is that it? I suspected as much when we were brought into _this_ room. So much for your laws." I tried to sound irate, but my words had the ring of a well rehearsed actor.

"Of course not." Aro blinked, astonished. "We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. Not for you." Aro was genially surprised, but Caius was the one the lines were meant for.

"Aro," Caius hissed. "The law claims them."

I glared at Caius.

"How so?" I demanded. I knew what he was thinking, but he needed to say it out loud.

He pointed at Bella. "She knows too much. You have exposed our secrets."

"There are a few humans in on your charade here, as well." I pointed out.

Caius's face twisted up into a smile. "Yes," he agreed. "But when they are no longer useful to us, they will serve to sustain us. That is not your plan for this one. If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not." Caius scoffed.

"I wouldn't—" Bella began in a whisper but Caius silenced her with an icy look.

"Nor do you intend to make her one of us," Caius continued. "Therefore, she is a vulnerability. Though it is true, for this, only _her_ life is forfeit. You may leave if you wish."

I bared my teeth. He knew very well I would never leave Bella again.

"That's what I thought." Caius voiced his thoughts.

Behind me Felix leaned forward, eager.

"Unless..." Aro interrupted. He looked unhappy at the way the conversation had gone. His thoughts were different.

"Unless you do intend to give her immortality?" Aro finished.

He knew I didn't but I tried to bluff. "And if I do?"

Aro smiled, happy again. "Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle." His expression turned more hesitant as he set the trap. "But I'm afraid you would have to mean it." Aro raised his hand up in front of him.

Caius, who was getting very frustrated, smiled hugely when Aro tacked on his little condition.

I knew this was coming, but I couldn't mean it. I stared down at Bella, her soft, beautiful face staring up at me. "Mean it," she whispered, agony written all over her heart-shaped face. "Please."

I felt my expression twist at the tone of her voice. She still wanted it so badly, but I couldn't give it to her. This good, pure, kind-hearted person deserved an eternity in heaven, and I couldn't risk it for her. I wouldn't destroy a chance at her never ending happiness.

But before I could even say anything, Alice stepped forward, her hand upraised like Aro.

I knew what she was going to do. She was going to show him the rock solid future of Bella, pale white with blood red eyes.

Aro looked at her with an acquisitive glint, his thoughts possessive.

He bent his head over their joined hands, his eyes closing as he concentrated. Alice was motionless, her face blank. I listened to the thoughts running through Aro's head. My teeth snapped together in anger. Alice had meant him to see only the one vision, but his curiosity was insatiable. He was seeing everything, her whole life. The time passed slowly and I felt Bella grow tenser with every second that went by.

Finally, after looking at all of Alice's future visions, including the one of Bella cold, white and red eyed, Aro's soft laughter broke the silence.

"Ha, ha, ha." He laughed, his head still bent forward. He looked up slowly, his eyes bright with excitement.

"That was _fascinating!_" Aro continued.

Alice wasn't happy. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." She said dryly.

Aro seemed oblivious to Alice's discomfort. "To see the things you've seen—especially the ones that haven't happened yet!" he shook his head in wonder. The feeling of possessiveness filled Aro's head.

"But that will." Alice reminded him quietly and calmly.

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there is no problem."

Caius's thoughts were chagrined and a look of bitter disappointment crossed his features. Felix and Jane seemed to feel the same way.

"Aro." Caius complained, sounding like a pouting child.

"Dear Caius," Aro smiled, humouring him. "Do not fret. Think of the possibilities! They do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future. Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household... Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out!" Aro was soothing Caius, but there was a very subtle threat concealed in his words that I didn't miss.

"Then we are free to go now?" my voice was even, but I wanted to answer in scathing tone, let Caius know my true feelings.

But I couldn't. Not if I wanted to leave with Bella by my side.

Caius was having difficulty talking, his anger overwhelming, so Aro answered.

"Yes, yes." Aro replied pleasantly, dismissing Caius. "But please visit again. It's been absolutely enthralling!"

Caius recovered himself enough to leave us with a threat. "And we will visit you as well." Caius promised, eyes half closed, looking more dangerous like this than any other expression. "To be sure that you follow through on your side. Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances."

How could he? Subtle threats were one thing, but to state one so openly? My jaw clenched together tightly, but I nodded.

Caius smirked and drifted back to where Marcus still sat, unmoving and uninterested.

Felix groaned behind us, alerting me to his hunger.

"Ah, Felix." Aro smiled, amused. "Heidi will be here at any moment. Patience."

Images filled Aro's head, images of what was coming. Bella couldn't see that.

"Hmm." The edge in my voice was clearly discernible. "In that case, perhaps we'd better leave sooner rather than later."

"Yes." Aro agreed for an entirely different reason. "That's a good idea. Accidents _do_ happen. Please wait below until after dark, though, if you don't mind."

"Of course." I agreed quickly. Best not to push my luck. Bella cringed against me, clearly not wanting to spend any more time here than necessary. Wise of her.

"And here." Aro added, motioning to Felix with one finger. Felix came forward at once, and Aro unfastened the grey cloak he wore. He tossed it to me. I didn't want to put it on. I knew what Aro would think.

I put it on anyway, leaving the hood down.

Aro sighed, and I almost winced. "It suits you."

Suddenly the strange longing Aro felt became impossibly humours. I chuckled, but stopped suddenly. Heidi's thoughts had interrupted me, surrounded by the thoughts of numerous other people.

"Thank you, Aro. We'll wait below." We needed to move quickly, Bella would surely realise what the people were for.

"Goodbye, young friends." Aro stared in Heidi's direction, his eyes bright with anticipation.

"Let's go." I whispered urgently to Bella. Demetri gestured that we should follow, setting off the way we came in.

I pulled Bella along by my side, wishing I could pick her up and carry her so we could move faster. I almost did when Alice, standing on Bella's other side muttered "Not fast enough."

The babble of voices was loud to me, but by the scared look Bella gave Alice, she couldn't hear them yet.

"Well this is unusual." A man's voice came from just outside the antechamber. Bella's eyes flickered towards the sound, so I knew she could hear him.

A shrill female voice answered. "So Medieval." Bella shrunk back against me as we pressed against the wall to let them all through. She was still shaking slightly, but when I quickly glanced down at her, confusion was written in her eyes, and a tiny crease wrinkled her forehead between her eyebrows. She still didn't realise what was happening.

"Welcome, guests! Welcome to Volterra!" Aro's melodious voice called.

I pulled Bella's face against my chest in an effort to stop her seeing what was in front of us, but I was a second too late. Her breaths came shallow and quick, and moisture swelled up in the corner of her eyes.

Agony filled me. I didn't want Bella to feel this.

The smallest gap appeared in the crowd, and I pulled Bella forward, Alice quickly following.

A strikingly beautiful woman stood in the now empty hallway. Heidi.

"Welcome home, Heidi." Demetri greeted her from behind us.

Heidi smiled absently, staring at our small group, her eyes focusing on my arm wrapped around Bella. I barely glanced at Heidi. My eyes were fixed on Bella's now pale face.

"Demetri." She responded in a velvet voice, her eyes now flickering between Bella and the cloak I wore. Her thoughts were like Rosalie's. Loud, haughty and self absorbed.

_Hmm, I wonder I he made a deal with Aro?_ She thought, not really caring. She had caught a glimpse of herself in the glass of a picture frame behind us, and was uninterested in everything else.

"Nice fishing." Demetri complemented her, trying to grab the beautiful woman's attention.

"Thanks." She responded, flashing a stunning smile. "Aren't you coming?"

"In a minute. Save a few for me." _So Felix doesn't get them all, _Demetri tacked on.

Heidi nodded and ducked through the door with one last curious look at Bella.

I pulled Bella along fast, so she was running to keep up, but we still didn't get far enough away before the screams started.

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	4. Home

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own twilight. My brain does not possess the intelligence to come up with a Vampire that sparkles. Like seriously, sparkles?_

Demetri left us in the reception area with Gianna, who was sitting behind her highly polished desk. She really was very good at her job. She still retained her detached look even with her curiosity as strong as it was.

Demetri was anxious to get back to the feast. "Do not leave until dark."

I nodded, and Demetri quickly hurried away.

I focused on Bella who was shaking, and getting worse.

"Are you alright?" I whispered, too low for Gianna to hear. She was incredibly curious. Stress leaked through into my voice, and Bella shook harder.

"You'd better make her sit before she falls." Alice muttered. "She's going to pieces."

Bella's teeth started chattering and strangled sobs were ripping up her throat.

"Shh, Bella, shh" I said, pulling her ever so gently over to the couch as far away from Gianna as possible.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her." Alice suggested.

I threw a frantic glance at her. Was she serious?

"It's all right, you're safe, it's all right." I desperately chanted again and again, anxiously trying to calm her.

I pulled her onto my lap, taking pleasure in the feeling of her sitting on me, and wrapped the thick woollen cloak around her, protecting her from my cold skin.

Her eyes were filled with tears, and violent sobs still wracked her frail body.

"All those people." She sobbed.

"I know." I whispered, pain twisting my features. She still felt bad for those people, even when we were still in danger ourselves. She had such a good heart.

"It's so horrible." She replied, obviously trying to stop the tears, but not succeeding.

"Yes it is." I agreed. "I wish you hadn't had to see that."

She took a couple deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

I tried to ignore Gianna but she had come over.

"Is there anything I can get you?" she still managed to look detached, even though the furious look I gave her sent her heart thundering furiously along at double time.

"No." I answered coldly. I wanted to snarl at her but I didn't want to scare Bella more.

She nodded, sensing my anger, before giving Bella a warm smile and walking away.

"Does she know what's going on here?" Bella demanded. She was getting control of her breathing. I could hear it evening out.

"Yes. She knows everything." I said, anything to distract her.

"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?" Bella whispered. Of course she would ask the question I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to upset her again, she had only just stopped crying.

I answered truthfully. "She knows it's a possibility."

Surprise flickered across her face, so I explained, carefully watching her reaction.

"She's hoping they'll decide to keep her." As soon as I said the words, the little colour in Bella's cheeks left her face.

"She wants to be one of them?" she whispered.

I nodded, one quick, hard jerk, checking her reaction.

A shudder went through Bella's entire body before she answered. "How can she want that? How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of _that?_"

The implications of her words hit me. She didn't want to be a part of that.

_I_ was a part of that.

My features twisted and I saw Bella looking up at me, studying my face. I tried to get my poker face back, but before I even tried, Bella let out a huge sob and started crying.

"Oh, Edward." She said loudly, tears streaming down her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, anxious, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

She didn't answer, instead she threw her arms around my neck and hugged herself closer to me. It felt so good to have her in my arms after so long. Too long.

"Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?" she asked me, her gorgeous voice breaking twice.

I wrapped my arms tightly around her, noticing how right it felt.

"I know exactly what you mean," I whispered. "But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive."

"Yes," she agreed. "That's a good one."

"And together." I breathed, enjoying scent that was coming off her in waves.

She nodded, but there was a small tightening of her eyes.

"And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow."

"Hopefully." She replied, slightly uneasy.

Alice chose that second to come in. "The outlook is quite good," she said reassuring Bella while showing me a vision of the family moving back to Forks. Esme would be thrilled. "I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours." She showed me their reunion at the airport.

I turned back to Bella to find her staring at me. I looked back, rememorising her perfect face. The shape of her lips, her soft, delicate cheeks, her glorious mahogany hair, her perfect nose, and finally, her melting chocolate eyes, so deep I could get lost in them. I noticed the deep purple circles under her eyes.

"You look so tired." I whispered, tracing the circles with my fingertip.

"And you look thirsty." She whispered back, still staring at my face.

I shrugged. "It's nothing." Thirst was very low on my priority list right now.

"Are you sure? I could go sit with Alice." She offered. I almost smiled. That was my Bella, always thinking of everyone else before herself. I could see in her face that she didn't want to move one inch.

"Don't be ridiculous. I've never been in better control of _that_ side of my nature than right now." And it was true. I wouldn't have given my thirst a second thought is she hadn't brought it up.

Bella seemed content to just sit in my arms, although there were a thousand questions in her eyes, so I discussed how we were getting home. I was surprised when a yellow Porsche filtered through Alice's head when we were discussing our ride to the airport.

Even though I was talking to Alice, my eyes never left Bella's face. I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off her.

At one point Alice asked, "What was all that talk about _singers?_"

"_La tua cantante,_" I supplied.

"Yes, that."

I shrugged. "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my _singer_—because her blood sings for me." But right now, even with her sitting on me, even smelling her incredible scent, I was able to completely ignore my thirst. There was no excess venom in my mouth and muscles were completely relaxed.

Alice laughed at my explanation.

I was relieved that Bella seemed to have calmed down. Her tears had dried and her breathing was even. Now and then while I was talking with Alice, I would lean down and kiss her, my lips brushing her hair, her forehead, the end of her nose. Every time I did, her heart would speed up before settling back into its normal rhythm. But even though I wanted to, I never kissed her lips. When I kissed her she was so _careful_, like she had to be careful what she did. Like she was holding herself back. Had she moved on? Had I hurt her so much that she couldn't love me anymore? But it looked like she did. I thought there was love in her eyes, but it had been so long, I didn't know if I could read her anymore.

I sat with her curled in my arms just waiting. I could hear the Volturi finishing their meal and both Alice and I stiffened when we heard the door open from down the hall. Bella couldn't have heard but she felt me stiffen and cringed against me.

Alec walked through the double doors, a slight smile pulling up one corner of his lips.

"You're free to leave now." Alec told us, his tone genuinely warm. "We ask you do not linger in the city."

Bella was trembling ever so slightly, so I couldn't reply in the same tone.

"That won't be a problem." I replied, my voice like ice. I felt a touch of remorse at my uncivil tone, but Bella's breathing came unevenly, making my anger came flooding back as I remembered her reaction to the crowd filing through the doors.

Alec smiled, nodded, and headed back through the double doors.

I helped Bella to her feet as Gianna came over. Bella was so tired I was supporting almost all of her weight.

"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," Gianna instructed. "The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now." She added.

Standing next to me, Alice shot her a hostile look.

Still carrying most of her weight, I led Bella out following the directions Gianna had given us. When we reached the rough cobble stones, Bella breathed a sigh of relief. She was the only one who looked back at the ancient castle, almost tripping on the uneven surface. I lifted her slightly, so her feet were off the ground for a second, remembering moments like this from almost eight months ago. She was still as clumsy as ever.

The Saint Marcus celebrations were in full swing in the streets, all the adults wearing black satin cloaks and absurd plastic fangs now that the children were in bed.

Bella seemed absorbed in the sights and sounds of the party, so she didn't notice when Alice left to go and get the bags and find a car.

We walked through the narrow alleys, avoiding the celebrating people. We almost ran into one man, plastic fangs a predominant feature on his face.

"Ridiculous." I muttered. But of course that's how humans portrayed us.

Even while we were walking my eyes kept flickering to Bella's face, so I was watching when confusion and a slight look of panic crossed her face.

"Where's Alice?" she whispered, the panic spreading to her voice.

"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning." I answered quickly, soothingly.

A slight smile lit up her face and the corner of my mouth lifted in response.

"She's stealing a car, too, isn't she?" she guessed shrewdly.

I couldn't help grinning this time. "Not till we're outside."

I kept my arms tight around Bella's waist. Every little bump in the road was causing her to stumble and I almost picked her up and carried her. But of course she was the quiet martyr, preferring to suffer in silence.

We reached the dark stone archway that marked the exit to Volterra without incident, and as we walked through Bella shuddered.

I led her over to a navy blue, low class BMW sitting in shadow. I helped Bella into the back seat before sliding in next to her. Alice could drive, even though she was slower than my usual driving speed. I wanted my time with Bella to last as long as possible.

Alice started in an apologetic tone "I'm sorry" she gestured vaguely toward the dashboard. "There wasn't much to choose from."

I almost laughed out loud at the longing tenor her mind took on when she thought about the yellow Porsche.

"It's fine, Alice." I grinned. I had been smiling so much today, all because of Bella. It felt right.

"They can't all be 911 Turbos." I finished.

She sighed. "I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous."

I was feeling generous and happy so I made her a promise. "I'll get you one for Christmas."

Alice turned and beamed at me, completely ignoring the road for a minute.

"Yellow." She said, smiling, before turning back to the twisting road.

I kept Bella tight in my arms, and her incredible scent quickly filled the entire car.

Her breathing was deep and even, but her eyes remained open. Why wasn't she sleeping?

"You can sleep now, Bella," I murmured, trying to sooth her. "It's over."

I saw and heard her swallow hard before answering me.

"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired." She said quietly, the lie exceedingly obvious. I couldn't help but smile softly.

I learned down slowly, pressing my lips to her smooth, soft skin in the hollow under her ear.

"Try." I encouraged. She needed her sleep.

But all she did was shake her head.

I sighed. "You're still just as stubborn."

I was about to lean down and kiss her lips, making her see sense, but I stopped myself.

I remembered her hesitance from before and pain rippled through me. Had she moved on? Depression swept into me, but I kept a hold on it. If she _had _moved on... I ignored the pain that thought brought and finished my sentence. If she _had_ moved on than I only had so much time left to be with her, and I would make the most of it.

I sat with her in my arms and I longed to touch her soft skin, but she was wrapped in the cloak Aro had given me.

Her scent filled the entire car, but my usual reaction didn't take place. There was no extra venom in my mouth, my limbs were relaxed and went with the contours of Bella's body. I found myself just enjoying her scent, not longing for it as I usually did.

I couldn't keep my eyes from her and Bella seemed to share my feelings. I spent the entire car drive to Florence with my eyes focused entirely on Bella's beautiful melting chocolate eyes.

She seemed so tired and I hoped she would fall asleep. She almost did, her brown eyes closing briefly, but the city lights of Florence woke her.

After abandoning the car, Bella had the chance to brush her teeth and change into clean clothes, and looked noticeably happier after.

Alice disappeared but quickly returned with a change of clothes for me and three plane tickets to Atlanta via Rome.

I hoped that once we got onto the plane Bella might go to sleep, but instead, she asked the flight attendant for a coke. I knew that she had a low tolerance for caffeine, so she was purposely keeping herself awake.

"Bella." I said disapprovingly. I waited for her answer, barely listening to Alice telling Jasper when our flight was scheduled to land.

Her mouth became a hard line and her expression looked like that of a stubborn child.

"I don't want to sleep. If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares." She probably didn't notice, but her voice trembled very slightly at her words. I didn't argue with her after that.

The whole flight back to Atlanta was filled with silence. I so desperately wanted to talk with Bella, to get the answers I needed—needed but not really wanted—but I knew that if I talked with her now, our time together would be cut drastically short. I could feel myself sinking into depression. It would be worse this time, I could feel it.

I managed to keep these emotions under lock and key. If these were my last hours with Bella, I would make them as good as possible.

Bella still wouldn't concede to sleep, stubbornly drinking soda, while she sat contently in my arms.

I constantly traced her delicate, beautiful face, over and over. She touched my face too, her warm fingers leaving blazing trails on my skin.

I kissed her too. Her nose, her wrists, her forehead. I wanted to kiss her lips, but restrained myself.

As much as I loved her, she might no longer love me.

Her eyes were still open when we touched down in Atlanta, and although I was carrying her whole weight, she still would not sleep on the plane to Seattle. When we landed her eyes were barely open, but the rising sun woke her again.

I led Bella off the plane, still supporting her entirely. I had some idea of the reception awaiting us at Sea-Tac airport.

Even though the majority of my concentration was focused on Bella's weary face, I could still hear the thoughts and feelings of my family.

Relief was the predominant thought of Esme and Carlisle, and I expected nothing less. Jasper and Alice were gazing into each other's eyes, love rolling off them in waves. Once I might have been jealous of their love, but not now that I had Bella.

Esme and Carlisle waited patiently for us to get to them as we were moving slowly, Bella shuffling sleepily forward.

As soon as we were within reach, Esme reached out and grabbed Bella fiercely. I refused to let go, so the hug was awkward but still filled with love.

"Thank you so much." Esme whispered to Bella, and Bella's mouth came up into a smile.

She quickly moved from Bella to me, hugging me strongly.

"You will _never_ put me through that again." She nearly growled. She wanted to be angry but all she could feel was relief.

I grinned, repentant. "Sorry, Mom."

"Thank you Bella." Carlisle said. "We owe you."

"Hardly." Bella mumbled. I could see she was minutes away from crashing. Finally.

"She's dead on her feet. Let's get her home." Esme scolded me.

I pulled Bella along towards the exit, Esme firmly holding her other side. Bella's pace was very slow, so Carlisle, Alice and Jasper were waiting in the dimly lit parking lot when we finally arrived.

I looked around for our car, anxious for Bella to sleep, but as I turned I saw Rosalie and Emmett leaning on a black sedan. I stiffened just as her thoughts hit me. I was brought up short when something I didn't expect reached me.

Rosalie was remorseful. She was sorry for what she had done.

Well I didn't forgive that easily. She had caused me one of the worst times of my existence, and Bella had been put in danger because of her.

Esme saw me stiffen in Rosalie's presence and quickly rushed to her aid.

"Don't," Esme said quietly. "She feels awful."

"She should." I answered, keeping my voice loud. She _should_ feel awful.

My words were greeted by sadness from Rosalie, but also understanding. That surprised me again.

I thought Bella had been pretty much out of it and her words came out mumbled with exhaustion, but she still managed to talk.

"It's not her fault." She said very quietly.

Esme was thankful for Bella's input. "Let her make amends," she pleaded. "We'll ride with Alice and Jasper." Esme couldn't stand there being a rift in our family.

I didn't want too. Who would? Everything that had happened in Italy was her fault. I didn't want to forgive her.

Bella must have felt me hesitating. Her beautiful face looked up at me, her gorgeous, melting chocolate brown eyes shining, even though she was faint from exhaustion. The crease between her eyebrows showed that she was slightly irritated. I wanted to raise my finger to her brow and smooth it out, but before I got the chance, Bella started talking.

"Please, Edward." She whispered, the words slurred together.

Anything, I wanted to say, anything to see you happy. But instead I sighed, and grudgingly led her towards the car.

Emmett and Rosalie got in without a sound while I helped Bella in.

Finally Bella's eyes closed. She laid her head on my chest, and I tried to make her more comfortable. I was relieved she was sleeping, but my relief turned to exasperation as the car purred to life.

Rosalie was going to talk, ask for forgiveness. Why couldn't she just keep quiet, let Bella sleep? I wanted to yell at her.

"Edward," Rosalie began, but I cut her off.

"I know." I answered, my tone hostile and cold. She shouldn't be asking my forgiveness at any rate. She didn't make me leave her father in a time of grief. She didn't make _me_ fly halfway across the world. She didn't make _me_ walk right into a life threatening situation where I almost _died_!

No, she shouldn't be apologising to me, she should be apologising to Bella. My expression must have been have given me away, because Rosalie seemed to pick up on my thoughts immediately.

"Bella?" Rosalie said, her voice soft and welcoming.

Bella's eyes opened in surprise. Thinking back, I realised this was the first time Rosalie had spoken directly to her. I was equally surprised. Rosalie must desperately want to make amends. It was no secret that she didn't like Bella.

"Yes, Rosalie?" Bella mumbled quietly but hesitantly.

Rosalie began uneasily. "I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did. Please say you'll forgive me." Rose seemed embarrassed by her speech, but that wasn't what caught my attention. The thing that caused my anger to almost completely dissipate was her sincerity. She meant what she said.

Bella's answer was slow because she was so tired, but when it came, her tone was slightly shocked.

"Of course, Rosalie. It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you." The words were only just recognisable, garbled as they were. It was remarkable how quickly my anger vanished. Rosalie's sincerity and Bella's forgiveness combined to completely rid me of my anger.

"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose." Emmett chuckled. He knew just the spot to come in to lighten the mood.

"I'm conscious." Bella managed to get out, so quietly it was almost inaudible. Her eyes drifted shut.

"Let her sleep." I insisted, her response making me smile. God, I loved her so much. I couldn't live without her.

She was my one true love, my life, my soul.

_See that button? Yeah? You need to press it. You know you do. Come on!! How can you not?? Look how cute that button is there...._


	5. Only time would tell

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own any published book, and unfortunately that includes Twilight. *sigh*_

Her breathing was deep end even and her dreams seemed serene and peaceful, a slight smile raising the corner of her mouth, ever so slightly. Time seemed to move in fast forward, speeding up the journey back to her house, but instead I wanted it to slow down, prolong my time with her.

She shifted slightly in my arms, her smile becoming more pronounced. For the millionth time I wanted to know what she was dreaming about, what she thinking. Was she dreaming of me? Probably not. _It doesn't look like she's having a nightmare,_ I thought bitterly.

The next time I looked up we were almost halfway there. I wanted us to stop driving, but I knew it wouldn't be right. Bella needed to get home and sleep. It was already selfish enough of me to wish for more time. I didn't deserve it.

Pain extended through me, through my cold, still heart. She was too good for me, too pure, too kind. I knew I should leave her the first chance I got, but I couldn't. Firstly I wouldn't put Bella through that kind of pain again. If I had known...

I flinched. I would never forgive myself for leaving her. Not if I lived for all eternity. I looked down at Bella's calm face, and the second reason I could not leave her held me strong. I couldn't leave her because I wasn't strong enough to. I cringed at the very thought.

I sighed very quietly. Neither Rosalie nor Emmet heard me, as the sound was drowned out by the gentle thrum of the engine.

I shouldn't be wasting my last precious moments with Bella thinking such foolish thoughts. It was not helpful to anyone.

Minutes passed but they felt like seconds. I was dreading the time when I would have to leave her. I was sure she wouldn't want me to stay with her. I was utterly convinced that she didn't love me anymore, not after what I put her through. I still managed to hold on to a little hope. It was the only thing keeping me together.

I was still wrapped up in my thoughts when the car slowed. I looked up, shocked. We were at Bella's house already.

I hesitated for a split second. I didn't want to leave her, but I knew I didn't have a choice. I lifted her gently out of the car. A crease appeared between her brows, and I could see she was waking up.

I was so engrossed in Bella's face that I didn't notice Charlie until his loud and rather angry voice reached my ears.

"Bella!" he shouted front the front door.

"Charlie." Bella breathed, shaking her head slowly and trying to wake up.

"Shh," I whispered. There was no need for her to wake up. "It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep." I reassured her.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here." Charlie thundered. I caught the anger in his thoughts and the tail end of something else. Relief?

"Stop it, Dad." Bella groaned. I was the only one that heard her however and Charlie yelled again.

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie roared.

"She's just very tired, Charlie," I assured him quietly, soothingly. "Please just let her rest."

Charlie was too furious to even listen to what I said. I understood perfectly.

"Don't tell me what to do! Give her to me." He demanded. "Get your hands off her!"

I tried to comply but Bella clung on to my shirt with stubborn, obstinate fingers.

"Cut it out, Dad." Bella muttered with more volume. Charlie was standing close enough to hear her this time. Her eyes opened and she struggled to focus.

"Be mad with _me_." She finished, her mouth setting in a tight, stubborn line. Her eyes flickered up to the sky. It was so cloudy it was hard to guess the time of day. At least it wasn't raining.

"You bet I will be." Charlie promised, but there was still relief in his thoughts. "Get inside." He muttered, rage clear on his face.

"Kay. Let me down." She sighed.

I didn't really want to. She still looked more asleep than awake, but respected her wishes. What choice did I have?

I set her on her feet and Charlie move out of the way so she could walk past him. Almost immediately when I let go, a deep feeling of aching went through me. It hurt to let her go, even for a second. After I released her, I could see that she was very unstable, and being sleep deprived hardly helped her balance problems. I saw her tilting forward towards the concrete, and forced myself to catch her slowly while Charlie was watching. As soon as I caught her safe in my arms the pain left me. I didn't know what the ache was, but it made the fact I couldn't ever leave her again, glaringly obvious.

"Just let me get her upstairs." I pleaded with Charlie. "Then I'll leave." I had no real intention of leaving her tonight, but Charlie needed to calm down.

The words seemed to register with Bella slowly, but she still cried out loud when it did.

"No." She whimpered, panicking. She trembled slightly and I instantly regretted what I had said.

"I won't be far." I whispered into her ear, so low Charlie didn't have a chance of hearing.

She seemed to accept my words, so holding her gently but close, I carried her upstairs.

I placed her gently under her covers, but she refused to let go of my shirt. As gently as I could, I prised her delicate fingers away from my clothes and tucked her hand under her covers as well.

She seemed peaceful for now, even though a tiny crease was still between her eyebrows.

I sighed lightly and moved away. Again it hurt to leave her, but I knew I had to face Charlie. I knew what he was going to say, but that didn't make it any easier.

As soon as my foot touched the bottom step, Charlie was in front on me, his red face right up to mine.

"Get outside, now." He seethed, barely keeping himself from screaming at me.

For one I was relieved that I could only feel the tenor of his thoughts, not what he was actually thinking. I nodded tightly and did as he wished. When I got out the front I was glad to see Rose and Emmett had left. This was going to be hard enough without them watching.

I moved out into yard before turning to face Charlie. His face had gone from red to a light shade of purple. At least I had a degree in medicine so I could help him if he had a heart attack.

I stood quietly in front of him, waiting. I could feel the tension and anger building. He was seconds away from exploding and I realised this might be the only chance for me to say anything.  
I opened my mouth to say something, but suddenly I realised I deserved Charlie's anger, his hate.

The mask on my face slipped, and the pain, regret and anguish showed clearly. This stopped Charlie for a second, and I took the opportunity to say something.

"Don't hold back." I whispered quietly so he could only just hear me. Agony seeped into my words.

Charlie looked at me oddly, but his anger hadn't lessened.

"You did this to her." He muttered, and I immediately understood. The tenor of his thoughts contained pain now, now just anger.

Yell, I wanted to say, scream at me. I deserve it.

And he did just that.

"For a week," Charlie began, his voice rising with every word. "For one full week, she did nothing. Wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat, wouldn't do anything. That was your fault." He voice got a fraction louder. "Then she seemed to recover. Sure, she woke up screaming every night, but she was better." He paused. "So I thought." He added quietly.

"She went to school, she ate, she slept, but she wasn't her. She was an empty shell. I didn't know what to do, but every time she got up in the morning, I blamed you." Hate entered his voice, and he couldn't control his anger anymore.

"I was your fault!" he yelled. I flinched. It was entirely my fault. I knew that.

"You had to know how she felt about you!" he said, using the past tense. Pain swept through me.

"You had to know what leaving would do to her! She wasn't Bella anymore; she was a shell, a husk. For months she was in pain, crying and screaming in the middle of the night! I couldn't do anything! Finally things started looking up. She went out with friends, she talked and she smiled." Charlies face hardened. "Then I get home after a _funeral_ and I see a note saying she's gone, who knows where, and I knew it was about you! She was getting better, recovering, and then you come into her life again! Why couldn't you just leave her alone? Haven't you caused her enough pain?!" Charlie yelled at the top of his voice. I just stood there, taking his anger and hate. I deserved it after what I had done. I would never forgive myself for leaving her, even if I lived for all eternity.

"I never what to see you again, so help me if I do. Don't you ever set foot on my property again, and if you come within a mile radius of my daughter, I will have you locked up so fast, your head will spin!" he was so worked up, spit flew out of his mouth as he yelled at me.

"Now, GET LOST!" he finished. The saying, if looks could kill ran through my head.

I hung my head. There was just one thing I had to say to Charlie.

"You will never know how sorry I am, Charlie." I said quietly. I looked up at him and couldn't help the pain that crossed my face.

"I will never, _ever_ forgive myself. I understand that you never want to see me again and I will respect your wishes." I finished.

Charlie was still red in the face so I turned away from him and walked at human pace until I was out of his sight. I waited until he was inside before I ran as fast as I could to Bella's side. Her window was open as it always was, and as I slid through her beautiful scent hit me, and I felt slightly better.

She was exactly where I left her, except for one hand that had managed to escape the covers. As I watched, Bella mumbled indistinctly, and her hand clenched and unclenched three times before ending in a fist, fingers tightly digging into her palm. In less than half a second I was kneeling by her bed. Tentatively I reached out to hand and gently smoothed out her fingers.

A smile lit her features at my touch and I felt my face smile in response. It felt so right to smile. Since I left her, I hadn't smiled once. I hadn't smiled, hadn't laughed, hadn't felt any emotion except pain and a deeply ingrained longing. Longing for Bella.

More intelligible words came from Bella's perfect lips, dragging away from my train of thought. I looked up from her hand to her face. Her smile was still pulling at one corner of her lips even though they were slightly open. I leaned in closer, inhaling as her breath caressed my face. Instead of noticing how mouth watering the scent was, I started noticing how beautiful the scent was in a very good, non-food way. The slight hint of strawberries from her shampoo mixed with her scent, and my smile grew bigger.

She was so beautiful, so gorgeous, so perfect. I couldn't live without her.

I was still kneeling, engrossed in her beautiful face, but my thoughts shifting at a million miles an hour. I thought of our future- for my future couldn't exist without her- and what it would bring.

I knew I wouldn't change her, no matter what Alice had promised Aro and the Volturi. Gazing at her face, listing to her breathing and her steady heart, I couldn't help but picture Alice's vision of Bella, hard, cold, with bright red eyes, a vivid ruby.

I shook my head, trying to clear the image. I refused to destroy her soul. How could I live with myself after? Destroying her chance at heaven or whatever was waiting for us in the afterlife, just for my own selfish needs? I sighed quietly. I couldn't, _wouldn't_, take-

"Edward." Bella whispered, stopping my thoughts in their tracks again. I focused harder on her face, and as I watched fear crept into her features and her smile disappeared.

"Edward." She spoke a little louder. It sounded like she was calling for me, the fear and a trace of panic now evident in her voice.

"Shh...Shh." I whispered. I moved from my position kneeling on the ground, onto the edge of her bed on top of the covers. I wrapped my arms around her carefully making sure my cold skin wasn't touching hers. She visibly relaxed when I wrapped my arms around her and I was relieved. I didn't want her to be frightened.

I tried to go back to what I had been thinking about before, but I found myself caught up in the little changes of expression on her face. Again, I wanted to know what she was thinking, but I was used to that. I had always wanted to know what she was thinking.

But did I still? A thought hit me with the power of one of Emmett's punches, making me breathe out in a sudden gust. Did I really want to know what she was thinking? She had been so careful the whole time I'd been with her. Careful about the way she touched me, even the way that she looked at me. Like she was stopping herself from kissing me. But that wasn't why I still hadn't taken a breath. It was _why_ she was careful. My thoughts from the plane came back to haunt me. _What if she had moved on?_ What would I do? I knew that if she wanted to leave I wouldn't stop her. I'd rather suffer in pain than keep her from what she wanted. This time I couldn't stop the depression from rising to the surface, overpowering my thoughts.

Charlie's words, bitterly etched in my mind, ran through my head again. The amount of pain I had caused.

I deserved her leaving me, after what I had done.

I moved off Bella's bed, disgusted in myself, what I had done to her. Bella, the reason for my existence, my sun, the meteor flying across my sky, illuminating everything.

I moved over to the corner, lowering myself into the rocking chair that still stood there, alone and forlorn.

How could I have done that to her? I groaned quietly. My fault, all my fault.

My head fell into my hands and my eyes closed, a million thoughts running through my head. Charlie's words, ringing with finality, the thoughts and memories Alice had shown me.

The pain in Bella's eyes.

Thinking about her made me open my eyes and look at her beautiful face again. Even looking away for seconds hurt. I so desperately wanted to go and hold her, to keep the depression at bay, but I was too disgusted with myself. All my plans had gone wrong, backwards. It was meant to be better for her, not worse. How could this have happened? I wanted to scream out loud. It took a great portion of my self control not to. As it was, a groan broke through my lips. Bella stirred, and I immediately froze. The crease between her brows became much more pronounced as she stirred and then slipped into a deeper sleep.

I breathed a slight sigh of relief. I was glad I hadn't woken her. The sooner she woke, the sooner she would ask me to leave, I was certain. What other reason could there be for her reluctance, besides the fact she moved on?

I was so selfish. The amount of pain I had caused and I still didn't want to let her go.

I was a monster.

A shudder wracked my entire body. The monster I had fought against for more than seventy years had broken through, just in a way I hadn't expected.

I got up and turned abruptly, facing the wall. If I could have cried, my eyes would be wet with tears.

Facing the wall, a deep ache centred in my chest stopped me from breathing. I knew there was only one way to make it stop.

I turned slowly, an internal battle raging inside me. In the end desire won over disgust, and one look at her unbelievably gorgeous face had me moving closer.

I stopped a foot from her bed, just watching her face. Her hair cascaded around her face, a mahogany river. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful.

Unconsciously, I moved closer, absorbed in every little detail.

My thoughts were so chaotic, I barely recognised them, but the revulsion was always there reminding me of what I had done.

I closed my eyes and breathed in, enjoying her scent, not longing for it. Her steady heartbeat filled my head and I felt better, enough to organise my thoughts.

I sat, breathing in her scent, listening to her heart, thinking things through, what I would say when she woke.

I was still listening to her heart when its steady rhythm became faster. My eyes snapped open and I took in her face in a second.

It wasn't hard to see what expression now filled her features. Fear. I had seen it so much over the past 24 hours in her eyes, her stance, and her voice.

"No...Please, don't." The pain was so clear in her voice, and her hand on top of the covers opened, a wordless plea.

"Hush, Bella, love. Hush. I'm here." I whispered, moving in closer to talk into her ear. Her heart rate slowed, but the fear was still clear on her face.

I moved onto the bed, the same position as before, my arms wrapped securely around her, whispering comfortingly in her ear.

She needed me so I wouldn't leave. But I was sure that when she woke it would be another matter entirely. Only time would tell.

_You need to press that review button. You really do. If you don't I will....I'll....I'll do something!! Yes that is a mildly annoying threat!_


	6. I always loved you

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own twilight or anything that is in any way linked the Twilight Saga. These things are a pain.....please don't sue me!! I'm broke enough already!!_

The day passed quickly, the grey of the clouds abruptly giving way to an even darker twilight. The black night followed slowly after and every minute Bella slept seemed like seconds. I was dreading the time she would wake, in fear of what she would say, how she would react to my presence.

If my heart were still beating, it would have been racing. As it was, my breathing was shallow and quick. The only thing keeping me relatively calm was Bella. I tried to time my breathing with hers, to make it more even. I could have stopped breathing all together but then I wouldn't have been able to smell her beautiful scent, floral like freesia.

I was still lying next to her on her very small bed. Throughout the night, every time I thought about moving, Bella would start trembling and murmuring quietly, pain evident even in the whisper. Each time I would sooth her, singing quietly. She was so restless, nightmares disturbing her sleep every so often.

Sooner than I wanted, Bella started to wake. She seemed reluctant to open her eyes, but I could tell she was awake.

Softly, I touched her forehead, enjoying the warmth. Instead of open her eyes like I expected, Bella squeezed her eyes more tightly shut, a frown appearing.

I waited; sure she would open her eyes when she was ready, but slightly confused. Why hadn't she opened them straight away?  
I heard her sigh, and might have been imagining it, but it sounded somewhat resigned, which only served to confuse me further.

She slowly opened her eyes and as soon as she focused on my face, she let out a little gasp.

"Oh!" she breathed, throwing her fists over her eyes. I decided to wait patiently. Or, at least pretend to. I hope I hadn't frightened her. What if she hadn't expected for me to be this close? I _was_ barely three inches away from her face. Or what if she hadn't expected me to be here at all? Did she want me to leave?

I watched as she slowly lowered her hands and opened her eyes again.

I chose to start with the easiest question first.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked, my voice anxious.

Again, I was watching as her expression changed, from wonder to understanding then the frown returned, etched deeper in her forehead than before. I didn't let go of her as I waited for an answer. I had forgotten how incredibly _frustrating_ not hearing her thoughts was. And because I couldn't hear, I was surprised when she spoke next.

"Oh, _crap_." She said, her voice rough with sleep.

That was not what I was expecting.

"What's wrong, Bella?" it still felt good to say her name. I hoped I would never take that for granted.

She looked up at me, the frown still there. She looked vaguely put out, but I couldn't think why.

"I'm dead, right?" she asked. "I _did_ drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is going to kill Charlie." She moaned.

I was only confused further. I felt a frown appear on my face as I answered.

"You're not dead." I disagreed. I didn't know why she would think that.

"Then why am I not waking up?" she challenged me, raising her eyebrows.

Ah, that made sense. She thought she was dreaming. It must resemble a nightmare. I needed to convince her she was awake.

"You _are_ awake, Bella." I tried to make my voice compelling, but I must have been out of practice.

She shook her head, disagreeing with me. "Sure, sure. That's what you want me to think." She started. "And then it will be worse when I wake up. _If_ I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renée and Jake..." she trailed off, a look of horror on her face for what she thought she had done.

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." I smiled grimly. A thought occurred to me. "But I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit any murders while I was away?" it was the only explanation I could come up with.

I watched as her beautiful face, just silk over glass, crumpled into a grimace.

"Obviously not." She answered. "If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me."

I sighed. Such flawed logic. As if _I_ could end up in Heaven.

Still focused entirely on her face, I watched as her eyes flickered away from my face for a second, to look out the open window to the pitch black night outside. Her eyes quickly focused back on me and a blush began to colour her cheeks. I guessed it was embarrassment that brought the colour to her cheeks, looking like cream and roses.

The corner of her lips rose fractionally as her blush deepened.

"Did all of that really happen then?" she asked quietly, embarrassment unmistakable in her voice.

My smile was still stiff, my mouth a hard line.

"That depends." I answered. "If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes." I really tried to make my voice a little kinder, but the circumstances surrounding our recent overseas trip still made me livid.

"How strange." She mused. "I really went to Italy." She seemed bewildered. "Did you know I'd never been further east than Albuquerque?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Of course she would see the humour of the situation.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent." I teased. It seemed right, natural.

"I'm not tired anymore." She told me, taking my joke seriously. "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?" she looked up at me, her expression questioning.

I flicked a glance at her alarm clock so quickly she wouldn't have noticed.

"It's just after one in the morning. So about fourteen hours." I realised in shock. It had felt like a great deal less. Bella stretched as I spoke, holding her breath.

"Charlie?" she asked, ever practical.

I couldn't help but frown as Charlie's words ran through my head, the whole conversation taking less than a second to think through.

"Sleeping." I answered so quickly Bella didn't notice a break. "You should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came through the window," I paused, said wasn't really appropriate, shout was more accurate. "But, still, the intent was clear." I finished.

I didn't know what she would say now. Would she support Charlie because of all I had done?

But of course she didn't, surprising me again.

"Charlie banned you from the house?" she asked, blatant disbelief filling her face before quickly giving way to her kitten like fury.

Her anger made me smile, but it didn't reach my eyes. Sadness must have been obvious in them for all I had done. How much I had hurt everyone I hold dear.

"Did you expect anything else?" I asked quietly, a rhetorical question.

I watched as her expression went from anger to curiosity, constantly wanting to know what she was thinking but at the same time, frightened of her thoughts.

"What's the story?" she asked her voice light and casual on the surface, but underneath was a different matter. The emotion was hard to pick. Longing? I couldn't be sure.

"What do you mean?" I countered. What was she confused about? What could she possibly want to know? Ah, how easily frustrated I was with her silent mind.

She willingly elaborated. "What am I telling Charlie? What's my excuse for disappearing for...how long was I gone, anyway?" she was obviously trying to count back days in her head with little success. It hit me again how much danger I had put her in, again. Could I do nothing right?

"Just three days." I said a more natural smile appearing on my face, anticipating her response to my next statement. "Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation. I've got nothing."

Bella groaned. "Fabulous." She muttered.

"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something." I offered soothingly. She needed to be calm for the following conversation.

And she looked comforted. The stiff set of her shoulders relaxing as she looked intently into my eyes.

"So," she began, and I knew the questions were about to start. Our months apart hadn't curbed her curiosity.

"What have you been doing, up until three days ago?" she asked, staring at me with her irresistible melting chocolate, brown eyes.

My face must have turned wary because the corner of her lips turned down. Of course she would start with a question that revealed nothing about her, but much too much from me.

"Nothing terribly exciting." I murmured, dismissing the question.

"Of course not." She mumbled, her face falling into a pout.

"Why are you making that face?" I asked, instantly curious.

"Well..." she pursued her lips, considering. "If you were, after all, just a dream, that's exactly the kind of thing you would say. My imagination must be used up." Sincerity radiated from her words. She was so absurd.

I couldn't help sighing. "If I tell you, will you finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?" I asked. For what else could it be, but a nightmare?

"Nightmare!" she repeated scornfully, contradicting me immediately.

I waited patiently for her answer, or at least pretended to wait patiently.

"Maybe," she said after a second of thought. "If you tell me."

I tried to decide the best way to describe what I was doing. I didn't really want to give her too many details.

"I was..." I weighed the word before I spoke it. "Hunting." The word seemed appropriate.

I hoped she would leave it at that, but at the same time I knew she wouldn't.

"Is that the best you can do?" she demanded critically. "That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake."

She was so absurd.

I hesitated before speaking slowly, choosing each word with care. How to word it just right...

"I wasn't hunting for food... I was actually trying my hand at...tracking." I said, watching the reaction on her face. "I'm not very good at it." I finished, still watching her expression as it changed quickly to fascination with a burning curiosity visible in her eyes. She was still the same, insatiably curious about anything she didn't know, any unsolved mystery.

"What were you tracking?" she asked, intrigued.

I didn't want to deny her the answer, but I would rather leave her ignorant about some things. Victoria was one of them.

"Nothing of consequence." I tried to seem light and casual, but my mask slipped, she must have seen how uncomfortable I was.

"I don't understand." She said quietly, gazing up at me. Her chocolate brown eyes melted and my resolve melted with them. I hesitated, torn.

"I—" I took a deep, unnecessary breath to calm myself. I didn't want to be having this conversation now, it would do nothing but shorten our time together. But I needed her to know.

"I owe you an apology." I began but it wasn't enough. "No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know," the words started moving faster with my agitation and I had to work to keep slow enough for her to understand. "that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. I had no idea that Victoria-" the anger overflowed my carefully laid barrier and my lips curled back over my teeth. "would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realise why now—she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there." I stopped for less than a second, unnoticeable to Bella. Even though I had thought this all through before she woke, exactly what I was going to say, it was still hard.

"Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face. When I heard what you told Alice—what she saw herself—when I realized that you had put your life in the hands of _werewolves,_ immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herself-- " I shuddered at this sentence. Werewolves. I was surprised she hadn't been seriously hurt. "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms." Even when I could feel the heat from her body, and smell her luscious scent. "I am the most miserable excuse for--"

"Stop." She interrupted me. She looked like she was struggling with some internal dilemma. Was this the part where she would tell me she had moved on?

I watched as her face became blank, the emotion wiped clean. She couldn't disguise her eyes as well.

"Edward." She started. I knew that as soon as she confirmed she had moved on, my chest would open up again, worse than before. Even though I was dreading her next words, hearing her say my name, still brought me pleasure. The way her lips moved when she spoke it...

"This has to stop now." She said, seriously. Pain rippled through me, but I held onto my composure.

"You can't think about things that way. You can't let this... this guilt--" she paused again. My mind got stuck. That wasn't what I had been expecting. She thought I was only guilty?

"-rule your life. You can't take responsibility for things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, it's just how life _is_ for me. So, If I trip in front of a bus or whatever next time, you have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame. You can't just go running off to Italy because you feel bad that you didn't save me." Her words became quicker in her agitation. "Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and _not your fault._ I know it's your..." she struggled for a word. "... your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but you really can't let that make you go to such extremes." Her was rising slowly, but she wasn't finished. "It's very irresponsible." She added. "Think of Esme and Carlisle and—" she stopped to take a deep breath, and I managed to get my brain moving again. She hadn't moved on. This thought filled me with relief and happiness. She still loved me. It was so hard to believe. But she still thought I didn't love her. She thought I only felt guilty. She didn't know, didn't realize, that I could never _not_ love her. It was impossible.

She didn't think I loved her. How could she even think that?

"Isabella Marie Swan." I whispered, unable to keep the anger off my face. "Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me _because I felt guilty?_"

Incomprehension flittered across her face. "Didn't you?" She asked in a small voice.

"Feel guilty?" What a silly question. "Intensely so. More than you can comprehend."

"Then... What are you saying?" confusion crossed her features. "I don't understand." She admitted.

Of course she didn't understand. If she didn't know I loved her, how could she possibly comprehend what I was saying?

"Bella," I spoke her name with adoration. "I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead," I spoke softly, but still burning with passion. "Even if I'd had no hand in your death--" I shuddered, unable to say the last word with same volume as before. "even if it _wasn't_ my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more careful—I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it second hand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds? The odds..." my voice trailed off. The odds. It was almost like the world was against us. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticise Romeo again." I spoke quietly, unsure if I actually wanted her to hear me.

"But I still don't understand," she said whispering. "That's my whole point. So what?"

Her words shocked me. Had I heard correctly?

"Excuse me?" I demanded.

"So what if I _was_ dead?" she demanded back.

I stared at her, incredulous. How can she not realize _I loved her?_

"Don't you remember anything I told you before?"

"I remember _everything_ that you told me." She claimed, completely confident.

I reached out to gently brush her pouting bottom lip.

"Bella, you seem to be under a misapprehension." I couldn't believe she didn't understand. I suppose she wouldn't if she thought I didn't want her. I closed my eyes, shaking my head back and forth, a slight smile on my lips. How to make her see?

"I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella," just speaking her name brought me so much pleasure. "I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

The frown on her face became deeper. "I am..." she searched for a word. "confused." She finished. How could she believe my lies and not the truth? Why couldn't she see how much I loved her, needed her?

I stared more deeply into her eyes. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be."

As soon as I spoke the words her whole body froze, all her muscles tightly held in place and her breathing stopped. I ran back over my words and realised what she must have heard in them. I shook her shoulder, trying to loosen her rigid pose.

"Let me finish!" I spoke with a bit more volume. "I'm a good liar but still, for you to believe me so quickly." I winced, memories of that night coming back to me. "That was... excruciating." I knew I had to explain in more detail, as hard as it was. I knew I did because Bella remained frozen, her breathing shallow. "When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye—" I tried not to remember, but the moment played back in my head like a colour movie, each agonizing second played with perfect clarity. "You weren't going to let go." I whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought _I'd_ moved on, so would you."

"A clean break." She whispered through her stiff lips, her eyes filled with pain.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible—that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry." I could never apologise enough.

"But how could you believe me?" I went on, incredulous. "After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" Bella looked up at me, her eyes wide and shocked. All the things I had thought through when she was sleeping came flowing out of my mouth and I was unable to stop them. It was almost as if I _needed_ her to know what I was thinking.

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly _believed_ that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that _I_ could exist without needing _you!_"

I expected Bella to say something, but her featured will still locked in their frozen state, incomprehension clear in her eyes. She still didn't get it. Maybe she needed time?

I shook her again, gently, but her teeth still rattled together.

"Bella," I sighed. How I loved to say her name. "Really, what were you thinking!"

And then she started crying, tears running down her cheeks. What had I done now?

"I knew it." She sobbed. "I _knew_ I was dreaming."

_What?_ Was I really that unbelievable? How could she believe my imperfect lies so easily yet completely dismiss the truth?

"Your impossible," I said then laughed without humour. I was too frustrated to feel humour at the moment. I needed to explain to her I loved her without loopholes, but how?

"How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here and I love you. I _have_ always loved you, and I _will_ always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you I didn't love you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy." Did she understand yet?

I watched as she slowly shook her head, tears still falling from her eyes.

Abruptly, panic hit me. What if she never believed me? What could I possibly do?

"You don't believe me do you?" I asked, seeking assurance through my rhetorical question. "How can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"

"It never made sense for you to love me, I always knew that." She whispered, her delicate, beautiful voice breaking twice.

There must be some way to make her see sense. To make her believe me.

A thought that had been at the back of my mind since Italy, burst to the front of my head.

"I'll prove your awake." I promised. I had the perfect way to do it.

I caught her face between my hands, reminding myself to be careful. I ignored her efforts to turn her head away and leaned in towards her face. Her scent was coming off her in waves and the heat of her skin warmed mine slightly. Oh, how I had missed her.

I leaned in closer, but when my lips were just half an inch from hers she spoke.

"Please don't." She whispered, heartbreak in her voice.

"Why not?" I couldn't form a longer question. Her breath was caressing my face, stunning me.

"When I wake up" she began and I opened my mouth to protest. Hadn't we already been through this?

"Okay, forget that one—" she cut in quickly. "When you leave again, it's going to be hard enough without this too." I pulled my face back an inch to stare at her nonplussed. She thought I was leaving. Even thinking about leaving hurt, but what if she_ wanted_ me to leave?

If she wanted me to leave, I would have no choice but to. I couldn't deny anything to the beautiful creature in my arms. Even if it killed me to leave I still would, if that was what she wanted.

It was time to confront her. I needed to know, but I was dreading the answer.

"Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so... hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same." Still perfect in every way, I wanted to add, but I resisted, wary of what she would say. "I need to know why." I went on staring into the depths of her melting brown eyes, so deep I could get lost in them.

"Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you _have_ moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be... quite fair." Even if it was unbearably painful. "I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please—" Because that would be so Bella. Denying me the truth to spare me pain. "-just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" I whispered now, nervous of her answer.

The frown was back again, and her answer was not what I expected.

"What kind of idiotic question is that?" she demanded, looking right back at me.

I wanted to sigh by I held it back, now wasn't the time.

"Just answer it. Please." I added to the end, making my tone softer.

She stared darkly at me for a long moment, each second building the tension inside me.

"The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you—and there's nothing you can do about it!" she stated, and relief flooded through me, making me giddy. All the time I had spent worrying, pointless.

"That's all I needed to hear." I spoke lovingly, and before she could react, I leant in and pressed my lips to hers.

It was like an electric current was passing though me, originating from her warm lips before spreading throughout my entire body. I could feel her warm body touching mine, and it was all I could do to remind myself to be careful. Her heart was beating at double time, the sound loud in my ears. I vaguely noticed she was holding her breath and I moved away from her for two seconds so she could get her breath back. The seconds our lips were apart, I whispered her name, and she pulled herself closer to me. I ran my fingers through her hair and stroked her face as she did the same. Instead of stroking, she knotting her fingers into my hair and refusing to let go.

I wanted to live in this moment forever, with her secure and safe in my arms, every line of her body matching mine, with her warm hands shaping themselves to my cheek.

The hole in my chest that came with her absence was all but a distant memory in this moment, this perfect moment. I didn't want to pull away but her breathing was coming in jagged bursts, her heart beating in a disjointed rhythm.

Her scent washed over me and I became lost in it. How I lived for even a week without her was now a mystery to me. I knew I would never be able to leave her again no matter what happened or what she thought. Contemplating leaving for even a second was, at this moment, unbearable.

I wanted to keep kissing her, I truly did, but her needs were far above mine. She was human with restrictions, such as needing to breathe, so I reluctantly pulled away, ending the kiss.

Instead of putting any distance between us, I leaned in, laying my ear over her heart. It was still beating at the same pace as a startled rabbits would, and her breathing came in light gasps.

We lay there for a minute, waiting for Bella's breathing to slow and quiet. When it reached an acceptable rhythm, I spoke to her in a casual tone.

"By the way, I'm not leaving you." I needed her to know, to _understand._

She didn't say anything, but I could guess what she was thinking. It was becoming easier to read her again.

I lifted my head and gazed into her eyes again. The scepticism was clear in her eyes. She didn't believe me.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not without you." I made my voice more serious. "I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do _something_, and it seemed like leaving you was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could never have made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only _you_ could be more important than what I wanted... what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heavens for that!" I tried to inject some humour into the conversation. "It seems you _can't _be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us." I kept looking into her eyes and was saddened to see the pain return to them.

"Don't promise me anything." She whispered, the pain in her eyes carrying into her voice.

Abruptly I was angry. "You think I'm lying to you?" I demanded, searching her face for the answer.

"No—not lying." She answered, shaking her head lightly. "You could mean it...now. But what about tomorrow, when you think of all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?" her voice rose a little.

I thought back to that night, how close it had gotten. I flinched.

"It isn't as if you hadn't thought the first decision through, is it?" she guessed. "You'll end up doing what you think is right." Her voice lowered again.

"I'm not as strong as you give me credit for." I said. Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if that's what you want." Again I expected her reaction.

She grimaced before answering. "Be serious, please."

"Oh, I am." I insisted with more force than necessary. "Will you please hear what I'm telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?" I waited, but she didn't answer. I kept my eyes locked on her face, seeing if she was finally understanding.

"Before you, Bella, my life was a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason...and then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." It was the only way I could describe how I felt, an analogy. She had responded well to them in the past, when she had first discovered what I was. Maybe it would help again.

She looked away for a split second, mumbling her response. "Your eyes will adjust." She answered, but I could tell from her voice that she didn't believe the words herself. At last, she was understanding.

"That's just the problem—they can't." I said. I could see that her face was torn, she didn't believe her argument anymore.

"What about your distractions?" she asked weakly.

I laughed once, a hard sound ant was off somehow. There was no humour at all.

"Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the... the _agony_." Even that word wasn't enough, but I went on. "My heart hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone—like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."

"That's funny." She said quietly.

For the second time in as many minutes, I was at a loss. "Funny?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I meant strange—" she said quickly, moving on with a thoughtful expression "I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." She breathed in deeply, as if to prove her point. "And my heart," she added. "That was definitely lost." It was hard to believe, listening to it beating, still slightly faster than normal. I leant in again, closing my eyes and placing my ear over her heart again. I felt her cheek on my head and her warm breath rustling my hair.

"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" she asked, sounding curious.

"No." I answered, sighing. I should have left it at that, but I couldn't stop myself from going on.

"It was never a distraction. It was an obligation." I knew she wouldn't understand and so I was anticipating her next question.

"What does that mean?" she questioned, and I looked up at her face. Still curious.

"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away with..." I stopped and quickly changed sentences. "Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false trail down to Brazil—and really she came here." I groaned. I had been so far off! "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fears—" that was when she cut me off.

_Have we got the review message yet? A review would be nice! Hint, hint!_


	7. Please, believe me

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own twilight or anything that even remotely resembles anything that might have something to do with anything Twilight related maybe. Clear enough for you? _

"You were hunting _Victoria?_" she all but shrieked, shooting through two octaves still sounding beautiful.

"Not well," I answered, trying to decipher her outraged expression while listening to see if Charlie had woken. "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing it in and out for much longer."

I waited for Bella to answer, but she looked stuck for words. "That is... out of the question." She managed to choke out, her expression horrified.

"It's too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not after—" she interrupted again.

"Didn't you just promise that you weren't going to leave?" she asked, trying to seem calm. "That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?"

I frowned. Damn, she was right. I couldn't leave, even if I wanted to. A snarl began to build deep in my chest. "I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria is going to die. Soon." The snarl became more pronounced near the end of my sentence.

"Let's not be hasty." She said, struggling to hide her panic. "Maybe she's not coming back. Jake's pack probably scared her off. There's really no reason to looking for her. Beside's I've got bigger problems than Victoria."

As much as hated to admit it, she was right. I nodded. "It's true. The werewolves are a problem.

I felt disbelief, _again_, as she snorted. "I wasn't talking about _Jacob_. My problems are a lot worse than a handful of adolescent wolves getting themselves into trouble." She said, blatantly disregarding my statement. I almost said something, but thought better of it. I didn't want to upset her now. We could discuss _Jacob_ another time. My teeth clenched together and I had difficulty opening them, so I spoke through them instead.

"Really?" I managed to get out. "Then what would be your greatest problem? That would make Victoria's returning for you seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?" I finished trying to hold onto my calm. Werewolves, I hated them.

A look of uncertainty crossed Bella's face. "How about the second greatest?" she hedged.

"All right." I agreed, my voice thick with suspicions.

She paused. I could see her hesitation over the words before they came out in a quiet whisper.

"There are others who are coming to look for me." She reminded me.

I sighed. Her reactions were always wrong. She must be truly frightened of Victoria for her to overtake the Volturi.

"The Volturi are only the _second_ greatest?"

"You don't seem too upset about it." She noted, a slightly putout expression hidden in her features.

"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, or even me. They count years the way you count days. I wouldn't be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again." I finished lightly.

I was waiting for relief to cross her features but I was again surprised. I watched as horror rushed through her face, pain filled her eyes and her front teeth went to worry her bottom lip.

When tears started to build up around the rims of her eyes, I became genuinely anxious.

"You don't have to be afraid. I won't let them hurt you." I said, speaking in my most gentle tone.

"While you're here." she whispered heartbreakingly.

_Hadn't we gone through this?_ Why did she still not believe me? What I would have given to hear her thoughts right _now._

I took her face between my hands, carefully. I had to be so cautious, she was so fragile. I looked straight into her eyes, her deep brown eyes pulling me in. Their depth was unfathomable yet crystal clear. I lost track of my thoughts for a second, dazzled as I was. And she was always accusing me of dazzling people. Dazzling yet equally dazzled at the same time. I managed to get my thoughts back into a straight line.

"I will never leave you again." I said with as much conviction as I could.

"But you said _thirty_." She whispered, the pain in her eyes clear in her voice. "What? You're going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right." The tears spilled over now, leaving trails down her cheeks.

How could she feel like this? I had explained it time and time again. Had she forgotten?

"That's exactly what I'm going to do. What choice have I? I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul."

"Is this really..." she looked like she was struggling with the question.

"Yes?" I prompted.

She deliberated for a moment before continuing. With a different question. Yet again I so desperately wanted to hear what she was thinking. What question was too hard for her to ask?

"But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother? Your _grandmother?_" her voice was pale with disgust, revulsion.

Was that what she was worried about? That I wouldn't love her when she grew old?

I leant in to her face, kissing the tears away. Her warmth rolled off her in waves, caressing me.

"That doesn't mean anything to me." I breathed against her cheek. "You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course..." a new thought occurred to me and I flinched slightly.

"If you outgrew _me_—if you wanted something more—I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if you wanted to leave me." Even though the very thought caused me pain, I meant every word.

Scepticism, or maybe disbelief hid in her features. Her eyes were easier to read, anger making them glimmer.

"You do realise that I'll die eventually, right?" she demanded.

It was an easy question. I had just gone through the consequences of her death.

"I'll follow after as soon as I can."

"That is seriously... sick." She found the word she was looking for.

"Bella, it's the only right way left—" I began, only to be interrupted again.

"Let's just back up for a minute." She said angrily. "You do remember the Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me till I'm _thirty_—" she literally hissed the word. "—do you really think they'll forget?"

I had come to that very conclusion while she slept, but I think I had a plan.

"No," I answered slowly, shaking my head. "They won't forget. But..." I trailed off, unsure how to phrase the sentence.

"But?" she demanded, unable to wait.

I grinned. Now she knew how I felt.

"I have a few plans." I decided on, unwilling to clarify further.

"And these plans," Bella said, growing more acidic with every word, her eyes narrowing.

"These plans all centre around me staying _human._"

"Naturally." I replied, my tone reacting to hers, coming out arrogant and curt.

We stared at each other, her kitten-like anger trying to persuade me but failing entirely.

I watched as she took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. Pain shot through me as she pushed my arms away, pulling herself into a sitting position.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked dreading the answer. I tried to keep my face smooth and voice even, but I didn't entirely succeed.

"No," she asserted."_I'm_ leaving."

I watched her suspiciously as she climbed out of bed before stumbling around the dark room. Well, dark to her anyway.

"May I ask where you're going?" I enquired.

"I'm going to your house." She said, still looking around for what I assumed was her shoes.

I got up, moving to her side and grabbing her shoes on the way.

"Here are your shoes. How did you plan on getting there?" I asked honestly curious.

"My truck." She answered quickly.

"That will probably wake Charlie." I put in, hoping to deter her.

She sighed, seeming resigned to that fact already. "I know. But, honestly, I'll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much more trouble can I really get in?"

"No," I contradicted immediately. "He'll blame me, not you."

"If you have a better idea, I'm all ears." She said looking innocently at me. I was still in the dark with her motives though. Why couldn't it wait till morning?

"Stay here." I suggested, never really believing there was a chance of convincing her.

"No dice. But you go ahead and make yourself at home." She encouraged teasingly, heading towards the door.

I moved quickly in front of the door, stopping her.

She frowned at me before turning abruptly around and heading towards the window.

She wouldn't. But then Alice's thoughts from Italy played in my head. How she was into extreme sports these day.

"Okay," I sighed. "I'll give you a ride."

She shrugged, very blasé. "Either way. But you probably _should_ be there, too."

"And why is that?"

"Because you're extraordinarily opinionated, and I'm sure you'll want a chance to air your views."

Now I was feeling apprehensive.

"My views on which subject?" I asked through my teeth.

"This isn't just about you anymore. You're not the centre of the universe, you know."

No, I wasn't. She was.

"If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say."

"A say in what?" I asked, each word separate and distinct. She had avoided my question how many times now?

She looked up at me, her eyes as clear as her intentions.

"My mortality. I'm putting it to a vote."

As soon as I realised what she was doing, I was not impressed. I tried not to make it too obvious, but my face was a dead giveaway. Was this so important that it couldn't wait till morning? At least then she would have to get through Charlie. I knew I wasn't going to win any arguments though, so without further argument I picked her up in my arms jumping out the window and landing on the grass some 12 feet below.

"All right then, up you go." Bella looked at me warily and I tried to reign in my disapproval.

I helped her onto my back, her warmth easily penetrating my clothes, before I started running. For the first time in seven months, running was exhilarating again, but I knew that might only be because Bella was clinging to my back, her warm cheek against my neck. I worried slightly that she might be unwell, her previous reaction to my running, but her breathing held steady, as did her heartbeat.

The night air was blowing her hair, strands of it wrapping lightly around my neck. Her breath was leaving tingling trails where it touched my bare skin. I felt her move slightly before her warm, soft lips pressed against me. It felt incredible, and I realised that was the first time she had kissed me herself.

"Thank you." I said to her, listening more to her heartbeat than anything else. "Does that mean you've decided you're awake?" I hoped it did, but she started laughing. It was such a beautiful sound, so stunning.

"Not really." She answered and I could hear the smile in her voice. "More that, either way, I'm not trying to wake up. Not tonight."

_Either way?_ It was so frustrating! Why was it so hard to believe I loved her?

"I'll earn your trust back somehow, if it's my final act." I muttered, mostly to myself.

"I trust _you_," she hurried to assure me. "It's me I don't trust."

"Explain that, please." I said, slowing to a walk. We weren't far from the house; I could hear the thoughts of everyone inside.

"Well—" she stopped, struggling to find the right words. "I don't trust myself to be... enough. To deserve you. There's nothing about me that could _hold_ you."

I stopped. She didn't think she could hold me. She thought _she_ didn't deserve _me._

I reached around to pull her from my back. I didn't have to try and be gentle, my hands automatically adjusted for her. I set her on her feet before wrapping my arms tightly around her, hugging her close to me.

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable." I whispered into her ear. "Never doubt that."

I stopped for a second before continuing. "You never did tell me..." I murmured, leaving the sentence hanging.

"What?" she asked, curiosity immediately sparked in her deep chocolate eyes.

"What your greatest problem is." It just hit me that I had just assumed who her greatest problem was, but it made no sense.

"I'll give you one guess." She sighed before reaching up to touch the tip of my nose with her soft, warm index finger.

I nodded, understanding. "I'm worse than the Volturi," I said grimly. "I guess I've earned that."

She rolled her eyes. "The worst the Volturi can do is kill me."

She stopped and I was forced to wait tensely for her next words.

""You can leave me," she explained. "The Volturi, Victoria... They're nothing compared to that."

And I could see in her face, her chocolate brown eyes, that it was true. It was all written on her face, the pain, the sadness, how much I had hurt her. Pain ripped through me with such force that I was unable to keep a composed face, and to my horror, pain spread from Bella's eyes to cover her features.

"Don't." She whispered. "Don't be sad."

Sad didn't even begin to cover it, but I needed to hide this from Bella, of risk hurting her more.

I attempted a smile, but even my best efforts failed.

"If there was only some way to make you see that I _can't_ leave you." I whispered. "Time, I suppose, will be the way to convince you."

The corner of her mouth pulled up slightly. The idea must have pleased her. "Okay." She said agreeably.

I was glad to see her happier again but the pain was still flowing through me at full force.

A questioning look came into her eyes before she asked "So—since you're staying. Can I have my stuff back?" she spoke in a falsely light tone.

Her attempt at a distraction was so transparent that I laughed, but the pain was still there.

"Your things were never gone," I explained. "I knew it was wrong, since I promised you peace without reminders. It was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the tickets—they're all under your floorboards."

"_Really?_" surprise and happiness filled her face, a smile lighting her eyes.

I nodded, slightly cheered that she was so happy from finding out this trivial fact.

"I think," she began slowly. "I'm not sure, but I wonder... I think maybe I knew it the whole time."

Curiosity flickered and I tried to push the pain away. Bella was upset that I was in pain, but she shouldn't be upset, I had already caused her far too much pain.

"What did you know?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

"Some part of me, my subconscious maybe, never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived or died. That's probably why I was hearing the voices." She stated, while I immediately began questioning her sanity.

I remembered back to when she first found out what I was, how she was curious and not the least bit frightened. I had been unsure of her sanity then too. At least there were options. Carlisle knew the best psychologists, and I could visit her whenever I was allowed.

"Voices?" I asked in a flat tone.

"Well, just one voice. Yours. It's a long story." She seemed wary. I wondered if that had anything to do with the expression on my face. it was my fault this time, that she wasn't experiencing normal things. Well, as normal as could be in the current circumstances.

"I've got time." I said, trying to keep my voice as even as possible.

"It's pretty pathetic." She said, an odd look of relief in her eyes. What was she relived about?

I waited, knowing she would tell me.

She looked thoughtful for a second before starting.

"Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?"

I spoke the words without inflection or emphasis. "You jumped off a cliff for fun."

"Er, right." She looked nervously at me. "And before that, with the motorcycle—"

"Motorcycle?" I cut in, trying to retain my calm.

"I guess I didn't tell Alice about that bit." she bit her lip, a sign of tension.

"No." I answered, unable to form a complete sentence.

"Well, about that...See, I found that...when I was doing something dangerous or stupid...I could remember you more clearly." She said, looking like she was confessing to murder. "I could remember how your voice sounded when you were angry. I could hear it, like you were right there next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didn't hurt so much—it was like you were protecting me again. Like you didn't want me to be hurt. And, well, I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because, underneath it all, I always knew that you hadn't stopped loving me."

I was so appalled, my words came out sounding strangled. "You...were...risking your life...to hear—"

"Shh," she interrupted me. "Hold on a second. I think I'm having an epiphany here."

Her face looked thoughtful, and I struggled to remain quiet. I was not used to being so patient, it had been so long and I was out of practice. I was about to say something, unable to hold my tongue any longer, when a look of happiness and understanding washed across Bella's face.

"Oh!" she exclaimed quietly.

"Bella?" I needed to know, now.

"Oh. Okay. I see." She said, completely ignoring me and driving me insane at the same time.

"Your epiphany?" I asked, my voice sounding strained.

"You love me." she stated simply.

I smiled. "Truly, I do."

She smiled such a smile that it brightened her whole face. I took her warm face into my hands and kissed her until her heart was beating at double time.

I leant my forehead against hers, both of us breathing harder than usual.

"You were better at it than I was, you know." I told her.

"Better at what?" she asked, curiosity colouring her tone.

"Surviving." I answered simply. "You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasn't actively tracking, I was..." I thought back to the forest, the pain. "...totally useless. I couldn't be around my family—I couldn't be around anyone. I'm embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me." I grinned sheepishly. "It was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too." I grinned lovingly at her.

Relief was evident on her face, about what, I couldn't guess.

"I only heard one voice." She corrected, smiling.

I laughed exuberantly before pulling her into my embrace, tight against my side. It was pure pleasure to have her with me again. I would never take it for granted again. Her warmth seeped through my clothes, saturating my side with heat, raising the surface temperature of my skin by a degree or two.

I pulled her forward towards the house, Alice's thoughts the loudest in my head, complaining and telling me to hurry up. She wanted to get back to Jasper.

"I'm just humouring you with this." I mentioned broadly to the house. "It doesn't matter the slightest what they say."

"This affects them now, too." She sounded totally confident that she would get her way.

I shrugged indifferently.

I lead her through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on. Esme had already put all the sheets away and cleaned the house.

I called everyone. "Carlisle? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?" everyone's thoughts were curious except Alice. She knew exactly what was coming.

Carlisle stopped beside Bella and she looked at him in slight surprise.

"Welcome back, Bella." He said smiling. _It's so good to see them together again_, he thought wistfully.

"What can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not purely a social visit?"

Bella nodded, now totally at home. "I'd like to talk to everyone at once, if that's okay. About something important."

_Something important_. That's what she called her mortality. I was sure my expression was a bit critical, but I was resigned to the meeting about to take place.

Carlisle cast a look at me as he answered Bella. _I take I this is a matter of mortality issue?_ He asked as he spoke out loud. "Of course." Carlisle said. "Why don't we talk in the other room?"

I gave a quick nod before following Carlisle through into the bright living room, around the corner into the dining room, turning lights on as he went.

Carlisle held out a chair at the head of the table for Bella. She sat quickly as everyone else walked into the room.

Carlisle sat to Bella's right, I on her left.

Although it was silent, everyone's thoughts were filling the room. Rosalie's thoughts were not as loud as usual, more subdued.

Alice was grinning, she already knew exactly was about to happen.

Emmett and Jasper were both curious, while Rose gave Bella a timid smile. I was so not used to Rosalie being timid.

Bella smiled back just as tentatively.

Carlisle nodded toward Bella. "The floor is yours."

_Hey. Review. Simple. _


	8. Marry me first

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own the Twilight Saga. I'm trying to keep this simple for you. _

I watched as she swallowed nervously, her eyes flickering downward and her teeth moving to her lower lip. I squeezed her hand under the table, focused on the thoughts of everyone around me. Everyone except Alice was predominantly confused, but Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie all had their suspicions.

"Well," she paused, straightening slightly. "I'm hoping Alice has already told you everything that happened in Volterra?"

"Everything." Alice assured her quickly.

I watched as she shot Alice a meaningful look. "And on the way?"

Alice's thoughts went back to their plane trip over, to what she had promised.

"That too." Alice answered nodding.

"Good." Bella sighed with relief, seeming to become more sure of herself. "Then we're all on the same page."

She paused for a second, no doubt collecting her thoughts. Everyone was waiting patiently, drawing their own conclusions.

"So, I have a problem," she began. "Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you. They're going to send someone to check, and I'm sure that's a bad thing—something to avoid. And so, now, this involves you all. I'm sorry about that." Rosalie's thoughts were the loudest at this point, yelling, _I told you this would happen!_

Bella looked around at everyone, her face sincere, the barest hint of pleading in her eyes. She looked at me last and I couldn't help the grimace that was on my face.

"But, if you don't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not."

Esme opened her mouth to speak, her thoughts echoing sadness that Bella thought we didn't think of her as a part of the family already, but before she said anything, Bella held up one finger to stop her.

"Please let me finish. You all know what I want. And I'm sure you know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you don't want me, then... I guess I'll have to go back to Italy alone. I can't have _them_ coming _here_." her forehead creased adorably, but I was almost too annoyed to notice. A deep growl rumbled in my chest, but Bella purposely ignored me, moving on quickly.

"Taking into account, then, that I won't put any of you in danger either way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire." I couldn't help but notice the way she half-smiled with her last words, and my eyes narrowed slightly.

She gestured for Carlisle to cast his vote, but before he could say yes, I cut in.

"Just a minute." I interrupted.

Bella glared at me through narrow eyes. I raised my eyebrows, faking innocence and squeezing her hand under the table.

"I have something to add before we vote." Bella sighed next to me, highlighting her displeasure.

"About the danger Bella's referring to," I continued. "I don't think we need to be overly anxious. You see, there was more than one reason why I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end. There's something they didn't think of, and I didn't want to clue them in." I grinned, pausing for suspense.

Alice was having none of it though, not so subtly prodding me forward.

"Which was?" she asked, the sceptical look on her face an exact match to the look on Bella's.

I got ready to drop my ace. "The Volturi are overconfident, and with good reason. When they decide to find someone, it's not really a problem. Do you remember Demetri?" I directed at Bella.

She shuddered delicately, so I took that as a yes.

"He finds people—that's his talent, why they keep him. Now the whole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible." That wasn't exactly a lie. I had been listening even if most of my concentration had been centred on Bella.

"so I saw how Demetri's talent works. He's a tracker—a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the...flavour? I don't know how to describe it...the tenor...of someone's mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances. But after Aro's little experiment, well..." I shrugged, leaving the sentence hang.

"You think he won't be able to find me." Bella said flatly, clearly not impressed.

I couldn't help my smug grin. "I'm sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense. When it doesn't work with you they'll all be blind."

Bella seemed slightly confused. "So how does that solve anything?"

"Quite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when they're paying a visit, and I'll hide you. They'll be helpless." Just the expression on Aro's face had me laughing internally. "it will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!"

I exchanged a glance and a smirk with Emmett.

Bella still seemed confused. "But they can find you." She tried to remind me, but I had already thought of that. As long as Bella was safe, my own safety was unimportant.

"And I can take care of myself."

Emmett laughed, looking forward to the promised fight already. He leaned across the table, extending a fist.

"Excellent plan, my brother." He said with enthusiasm .

I stretched out my arm to smack Emmett's fist with my own.

"No." Rose hissed.

"Absolutely not." Bella agreed.

"Nice." Jasper's voice was appreciative.

"Idiots." Alice muttered.

Esme just glared at me, her thoughts silent.

Bella straightened up again, taking charge. She obviously was not pleased with the way things had gone.

"All right, then. Edward has offered you an alternative for you to consider." She said coolly. "Let's vote."

She looked at me first this time, seeming to have decided that it was better to get my vote over and done with, seeing as everyone already knew what it would be. It was almost unfair, asking me first. It made it seem like my vote wasn't as important, that Bella had already disregarded it.

"Do you want me to join your family?" she asked bluntly. The way she had worded the question would make it sound like I didn't want her if I said anything but yes.

My face must have been hard when I answered, because Bella's eyes hardened slightly and she wore a stubborn expression.

"Not that way." I clarified. "You're staying human." It was infuriating to watch here move past my vote with almost total indifference. However, I was the only one in the room who knew her face well enough to detect the slight hint of disappointment that was masked by her features.

Maintain the same business like expression she moved on to Alice, already sure of her answer.

"Alice?" she asked, deceptively calm. I would have believed her calm expression if it hadn't been for her heart beat suddenly rising to a staccato allegro beat.

_Sorry, Edward,_ Alice thought, before quickly replying with a small, sad smile. She knew how I would react. I tried delving deeper into her thoughts, sure she was hiding the outcome of the votes from me, but was slightly frustrated, even if I was unsurprised, to find her mind busy with other matters, currently consisting of the Star Spangled Banner being translated into Latin.

Bella had moved on, now looking to Jasper.

"Jasper?" she asked, sounding slightly relieved that Alice had voted yes.

_I'm sorry Edward. It's for Alice; you know how she feels about this._ Jasper shot me a quick, meaningful glance and then answered in the same fashion as Alice.

"Yes." He said, his voice grave. Even if it was Alice wanted, it didn't mean he entirely approved.

I was trying to keep my anger in check as Bella moved on to Rosalie. At least this was one vote I could count on. It was one of the rare times where Rosalie and I were seeing eye to eye.

"Rosalie?" Bella moved on, having successfully maintained her neutral expression.

Rosalie was hesitating. I listened closely as she struggled to find the words. She bit her bottom lip in a characteristic Bella movement.

"No." She said quietly.

Bella kept her face smooth and went to move on but Rosalie wasn't quite finished.

"Let me explain," she pleaded. "I don't mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. It's just that...this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me."

Bella nodded slowly, understanding, before turning to Emmett.

"Hell, yes!" he grinned. Sending me a quick glance that obviously said, Sorry Bro, as Emmett would have phrased it.

He went on quickly. "We can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri."

Bella grimaced, no doubt imagining Demetri and Emmett fighting. She turned quickly to Esme, trying to resume her original expression.

"Yes, of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family." Esme voted without Bella's prompt.

I was struggling, more than ever to restrain my feelings. I already knew what Carlisle would say. I was out voted.

"Edward." He looked at me, a slightly beseeching expression in his eyes.

I couldn't take it. Why did what everyone else say matter anyway? They didn't love Bella as I did, so how could they understand?

"No." I growled, my anger finally taking hold.

"It's the only way that makes sense," Carlisle insisted. "You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice."

I dropped Bella's hand, pushed back from the table and walked quickly from the room, afraid that I would do something I would regret near Bella. I was growling under my breath, shouting obscenities in my head.

I heard Carlisle sigh before answering Bella's unasked question. "I guess you know my vote."

I heard Bella reply, her voice distinct from the other room even though her words were only mumbled.

"Thanks." I heard her whisper.

The anger became impossible to control. I needed to vent it, reaching for the first thing my hands touched. Emmett's brand new, top of the line biggest plasma television. I felt my hands crush the thin metal as I threw it at the wall. I let out the breath I had been holding and looked at the wall, but really listing to Bella.

"That's all I needed. Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you too." She sounded so happy. _Happy?_

Esme spoke too, her voice light and cheerful. "Dearest Bella."

I was calming down slightly, trying to find a way out of this mess. There had to be a way.

"Well, Alice," I heard Bella begin. "Where do you want to do this?"

I heard Alice's confused and terrified thoughts as I ran back to the room yelling.

"No! _No!_ NO!" I roared, moving right up to Bella's face. She twisted back, fear plain in her eyes. I ignored it, beside myself.

"Are you insane?" I shouted. "Have you utterly lost your mind?"

I felt the instantaneous, familiar sense of shame and Bella cringed away from me, her hands over her ears, but I was still too angry to move away from her.

_Edward, calm down!_ Alice's thoughts came seconds before she spoke.

"Um, Bella," she cut in with an anxious voice layered with tension. "I don't think I'm _ready_ for that. I'll need to prepare..." she finished uncertainly.

Bella moved so she could see Alice under my outstretched arm. "You promised." She accused, glaring.

"I know, but...Seriously, Bella! I don't have any idea how to _not_ kill you." She still sounded slightly shocked.

"You can do it," Bella encouraged. "I trust you."

I couldn't help it, I snarled in fury. The way she was talking about this, ending her life.

Alice shot me a quick glance before turning to Bella and shaking her head, looking panicked.

The look of stubbornness was back. "Carlisle?" Bella asked, turning to look at him.

I didn't know what I was doing, but I reached out for her face, stopping her from turning her head. I don't know what I hoped to achieve with this action, but it felt better with her looking at me.

"I'm able to do it." Carlisle replied quickly, hoping I would let go of Bella. He was slightly worried about how tightly I was holding her. "You would be in no danger of me losing control."

"Sounds good." Bella replied, trying to turn her head at her but still unable to move. Her words came out slightly distorted because of my grip but I was still struggling to remove my hand. My anger and guilt were two opposing armies, but so far, the guilt was too far outnumbered to be of any consequence.

I tried to salvage the situation. If I could just buy some _time_ then maybe, just maybe I could talk her out of this insanity.

"Hold on," I spoke between my teeth. "It doesn't have to be now." I knew I had to appeal to Carlisle's sense of logic, then I might stand a chance.

"There's no reason for it not to be now." Bella answered very quickly, but the words were still muffled by my hand.

"I can think of a few." I was struggling to remain calm, and losing immensely.

"Of course you can." She replied sourly. "Now let go of me."

I immediately removed my hand and folded my arms safely across my chest where they wouldn't do anymore harm. Was I imagining it, or were Bella's cheekbones slightly darker? Had I hurt her? The guilt finally managed to overthrow my anger in light of my actions. How could I have been so stupid?

I continued, seeming oblivious to her words. "In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police."

Bella's forehead creased adorably between her brows. "All three of them." She answered, but I could see her thinking it over.

I knew what she must be thinking of now, Charlie, Renee, all her friends at school. I hoped she would reconsider. Even if I only had a couple of months I might be able to dissuade her. Maybe I could find something she wanted more...

"In the interest of remaining _inconspicuous,"_ I went on, tearing my eyes away from Bella with difficulty and looking towards Carlisle. I was still talking through my teeth. "I suggest that we put this conversation off, at least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house."

To my relief, Carlisle agreed with me.

"It's a reasonable request, Bella." He pointed out.

She pursed her lips. Hope began to swell inside me. "I'll consider it." She said, looking none too pleased.

Relief flooded through me, I relaxed and my teeth unclenched. At least now I had some time.

"I should probably take you home," unable to completely mask my hurry to leave. "Just in case Charlie wakes up early."

Bella's clear, brown eyes flickered to Carlisle. "After graduation?"

"You have my word."

She breathed in deeply before turning to me with my favourite smile, slightly uneven because her bottom lip was slightly out of proportion with her upper one.

"Okay. You can take me home."

I quickly rushed her out of the house, running with her back through the moonlit forest.

Without pausing I jumped through her window, her strawberry shampoo floating around me like a halo. I quickly set her on the bed wordlessly.

I was thinking intently. I had an idea, but would it work? Would she fall for it? If there was something she wanted more, and I had an idea of what that would be, what would she trade for it?

I started pacing. Would it work? _Could _it work? Is this the way to buy more time?

On every turn I looked quickly over at Bella, watching as her expression grew more and more frustrated. She was so adorable.

She finally grew tired with my incessant pacing, breaking the silence.

"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work."

And how could she possibly know that?

"Shh. I'm thinking." Was my brilliant response.

"Ugh." Bella groaned, throwing herself back on the bed and pulling the quilt up over her head.

I small stab of pain swept through me, just from not being able to see her.

Without a sound that she would hear, I lay on the bed next to her. I pulled back the covers to reveal her face, the light from her luminescent clock throwing shadows over her face, but illuminating the contours cast by her nose and lips. Her fathomless eyes reflected the light as well, shining clear and bright. I extended my hand and gently brushed some hair back from her cheek, relishing the warmth her body gave off.

The sight of her face brought instant relief, the brush of pain all but forgotten.

"If you don't mind," I murmured quietly to her. "I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now...tell me something."

"What?" she asked, rather unwillingly.

I had an inkling of what she wanted most, but rather than guessing, why not just ask?

"If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?"

I watched her face closely. It was not difficult to see the scepticism in her eyes.

"You."

I shook my head impatiently. "Something you don't already have."

I could see she was still unsure what I wanted. This might work.

She thought carefully before answering, anxiously watching my expression.

"I would want...Carlisle not to have to do it. I would want you to change me."

Exactly what I expected. It was slightly funny, watching her wary expression, but also saddening. I must have frightened her before.

"What would you be willing to trade for that?"

Amazement lit her face as quickly as a smile would have. "Anything." She answered quickly.

Perfect. I felt a slight smile on my lips. Quickly I tried to get my thoughtful expression back, pursing my lips. I decided to aim high. She would work me lower no matter what. "Five years?" I asked hopefully.

Her face twisted into an expression somewhere between chagrin and horror.

"You said anything." I reminded her quickly.

"Yes, but..." she struggled with her excuse. "You'll use the time to find a way out of it." Damn, she knew me too well. "I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human—for me at least. So anything but that."

I frowned at her explanation before presenting my new offer. "Three years?"

"No!" she exclaimed loudly.

"Isn't it worth anything to you at all?"

She considered quickly, trying to keep her poker face but failing. She wanted this _a lot_.

"Six months?" she counter offered.

I couldn't help rolling my eyes. "Not geed enough."

"One year, then." She said. "That's my limit."

"At least give me two." I bargained quickly.

"No way." Her retort was swift. "Nineteen I'll do. But I'm not going anywhere near twenty. If your staying in your teens forever than so am I."

Exasperation rushed though me. This was the reason?

I knew this wasn't working so I tried a new tactic.

"All right. Forget time limits. If you want me to be the one—then you'll just have to meet one condition."

"Condition? What condition?" she asked, immediately suspicious.

I spoke slowly, cautiously. I knew how she would take this.

"Marry me first."

_Hi there. See that button? Press it. Press it. PRESS IT!!_


	9. Yeah, I wish

_Disclaimer:__ for the last time, I do not own twilight or the twilight saga or any sparkly vampires or an Aston Martian Vanquish. A girl can dream though. _

She stared at me, obviously waiting for me to say something along the lines of, just kidding, Bella!

When she realised no words were forthcoming, she answered me with a curious mix of emotions, curiosity, indignation, chagrin, and suspicion.

"Okay. What's the punch line?"

I sighed. I knew she would react something like this. It was so _Bella_.

"You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke." I tried to keep my exasperated face, hiding the tumult of emotions of underneath. What had I expected her to say? I had always known she would never jump up and down, screaming yes. I had hoped though. she didn't know how much I wanted this. Couldn't she tell, by what I was offering in return?

"Edward, please be serious." She looked at me, slightly anxious.

"I am one hundred percent serious." I answered, gazing into her now worried eyes.

"Oh, C'mon," she said, her voice climbing through the octaves and sounding slightly hysterical. "I'm only eighteen."

But I wasn't giving up that easy. "Well, I'm nearly a hundred and ten. It's time I settled down."

I saw the hint of panic she was trying to hide as she looked out the window.

"Look marriage isn't exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Renée and Charlie." She looked back at me, her face under slightly more control, but her eyes gave her away.

"Interesting choice of words." I commented mildly.

"You know what I mean." She muttered, annoyed.

I inhaled deeply and unnecessarily. Why didn't she want this?

"Please don't tell me that you're afraid of the commitment." I asked disbelievingly.

"That's not it exactly." She said slowly. "I'm...afraid of Renée. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before you're thirty." And the look on her face proved it.

"Because she'd rather you become one of the eternal damned than get married." I laughed darkly and the unbelievable words.

Bella looked at me quite seriously. "You think you're joking."

I was being selfish, and I knew it, but I wanted this so much. Time to pull out the ace. I knew something she wanted just as much.

"Bella, if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to battering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire..." I shook my head, wondering how long it would take for her to interrupt. "If you're not brave enough to marry me, then—" I didn't wait long.

"Well," she interrupted. "What if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?" she asked, attempting a look of innocence.

I smiled widely, calling her bluff instantly. "Sure," I answered quickly. "I'll get my car."

He face fell. "Dammit." She muttered. "I'll give you eighteen months."

I almost felt like laughing. "No deal," I said, grinning. "I like _this_ condition."

She tried her stubborn face. "Fine, I'll have Carlisle do it when I graduate."

"If that's what you really want." I shrugged nonchalantly, smiling my most innocent smile. I was pretty sure she would change her mind before graduation.

"You're impossible." She groaned. "A monster."

I chuckled. "Is that why you won't marry me?"

All she did was groan again.

I didn't want to wait though. I wanted this _now_.

I leaned in closer, trying to keep a hold of my thoughts as her deep brown eyes scattered my concentration.

"_Please_, Bella?" I breathed, trying my best to dazzle her. She stopped breathing for a moment before shaking her head quickly, obviously trying to clear her mind but answering a stubborn no at the same time.

"Would this have gone better if I'd had time to get a ring?" I asked, smiling.

"No! No rings!" she very nearly shouted, throwing me off balance but also waking Charlie.

"Now you've done it." I whispered.

She looked at me apologetically. "Oops."

"Charlie's getting up; I'd better leave." I said with resignation. I would keep an eye on her, but I wouldn't be near enough to feel the warmth of her body, or stare into her gorgeous eyes.

Bella's reaction was much stronger than mine. Her heart stopped beating, and her whole face filled with fear and pain. I gauged her expression for a second. It was painfully obvious she didn't want me to leave. I thought about it for a very small portion of a second. "Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?"

"No," she whispered eagerly, her face brightening instantly with a smile. "Stay. Please."

I smiled before moving over to her closet and shutting the door in much less than a second.

I peered through the hole in the doors, watching her face. She was waiting for Charlie with a mixture of longing and frustration. I watched, amused, as she mouthed the word 'cheater' to herself.

The bedroom door creaked open, Charlie slightly hesitant.

"Morning, Dad."

"Oh, hey, Bella." He sounded embarrassed at being caught. "I didn't know you were awake."

"Yeah." Bella replied smiling. "I've just been waiting for you to wake up so I could have a shower."

She started to get up, but Charlie wasn't having it.

"Hold on," He said gruffly, turning the lights on. Bella blinked in the sudden light.

"Let's talk for a minute first."

Bella grimaced. I remembered we had forgotten to ask Alice for an excuse.

"You know you're in trouble." Charlie tried to sound angry but relief was evident even in his muffled thoughts.

"Yeah, I know."

"I just about went crazy these last three days. I come home from Harry's funeral, and you're gone. Jacob could only tell me that you'd run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didn't leave me a number, and you didn't call. I didn't know where you were or when-or if-you were coming back. Do you have any idea how...how..." words failed him as he drew in a sharp breath. Bella sat still, guilt thick on her face.

He moved on. "Can you give me one reason why I shouldn't ship you off to Jacksonville this second?"

I watched as Bella's eyes narrowed. She sat up straighter, pulling the quilt around her.

"Because I won't go." She said, blatantly.

I stood there silently in Bella's closet, her beautiful floral freesia scent engulfing me, listening as Charlie's anger began to build. I didn't know what Bella was playing at. Did she want to get kicked out? Then she could live with me...

"Now just one minute, young lady—"

Bella cut in. "Look, Dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I've learned my lesson. And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out, too—but that wouldn't make me go to Florida."

I could imagine the colour Charlie's face would be right now. He breathed deeply a few times before continuing.

"Would you like to explain where you've been?"

I peered at Bella again, watching as her face as she realised she had no excuse.

"There was...an emergency." She stated, somewhat hesitantly. I wondered how she would get out of this.

She took a deep breath in before blowing the air out noisily.

"I don't know what to tell you, Dad. It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand."

Well, she was mostly sticking to the truth.

"See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff..." I watched her scramble for words then stop suddenly. Charlie obviously didn't know about the cliff diving.

"I guess I didn't tell you about that," she managed to choke out. "It was nothing, just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset." That was putting it mildly. "She sort of made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldn't answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to...L.A, to explain in person." She shrugged and I was left thinking about how incredibly close to the truth she had gotten. Unfortunately, this fantastic excuse was almost lost on Charlie.

"_Were_ you trying to kill yourself, Bella?"

"No, of course not. Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing."

Anger began to creep back into Charlie. "What's it to Edward Cullen anyway?" his words left me dazed. His anger brought back what I had done to Bella. "All this time, he's just left you dangling without a word—"

Bella cut in quickly, her face like stone. "Another misunderstanding."

"So is he back then?" he demanded.

Confusion crossed her features. "I'm not sure what the exact plan is. I _think_ they all are."

"I want you to stay away from him, Bella. I don't trust him. He's rotten for you. I won't let him mess you up like that again." Each word was like a blow, because it was true.

"Fine." Bella answered quickly and I froze. Did she mean that?

Charlie rocked back on his heels, obviously relieved. The exact opposite to what I was feeling.

"Oh." He scrambled quickly, exhaling loudly in surprise. "I thought you were going to be difficult."

"I am. I meant, 'Fine, I'll move out.'" Bella looked at him strongly.

I breathed out silently in relief.

She went on quickly. "Dad, I don't want to move out." Bella said in a much softer tone. "I love you. I know you're worried, but you need to trust me on this. And you're going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?"

"That's not fair, Bella. You know I want you to stay."

"Then be nice to Edward, because he's going to be where I am." She said it with such conviction that I smiled.

"Not under my roof." Charlie refused to accept what Bella was saying.

She sighed heavily. "Look, I'm not going to give you more ultimatums tonight—or I guess it's this morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal."

"Bella—" Charlie stuttered.

"Think it over," she insisted. "And while you're doing that, could you give me some privacy? I really need a shower."

Charlie hesitated before leaving, slamming the door and storming down the stairs.

I moved at inhuman speed, settling into the rocking chair in the corner. Exactly where I used to sit and watch Bella sleep before she knew what I was.

"Sorry about that." She whispered, gazing at me lovingly.

"It's not as if I don't deserve far worse." I murmured quietly. "Don't start anything with Charlie over me, please."

"Don't worry about it." She breathed as she gathered up her things for her shower. "I will start exactly as much as necessary, and no more than that. Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?" she widened her eyes in false alarm.

I couldn't help but smirk. "You'd move into a house full of vampires?"

"That's probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides..." she grinned cheekily. "If Charlie kicks me out, then there's no need for a graduation deadline, is there?"

I flexed my jaw. "so eager for eternal damnation." I muttered.

"You know you don't really believe that."

"Oh, don't I?" I fumed quietly.

"No. You don't." She stated, sure of herself.

I looked angrily at her, before opening my mouth to speak, but she cut me off.

"If you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't—you said '_amazing, Carlisle was right_," she reminded me, triumphant. "There's hope in you, after all."

I was speechless, because she was absolutely right.

"So let's both just be hopeful, all right?" she suggested, looking over to me. "Not that it matters. If you stay, I don't need heaven."

I got up slowly, putting my hands on her perfect face and staring into her eyes.

"Forever." I whispered.

"That's all I'm asking for." She said, stretching up on her toes so she could press her lips to mine.

Almost everything went back to normal. Carlisle was welcomed back to the hospital with open arms, many of the female employees unable to hide their delight that Esme had found life in L.A so little to her liking. Bella have missed work while abroad, so as it stood, Alice and I had better grades to pass than she did. Finding Bella a college became a top priority, as I knew I would be accepted pretty much anywhere. I had a new stack of applications for her to fill out every day, with varying degrees of bribery needed. I hid that particular little fact from Bella, but I'm sure she had guessed.

Charlie was very unhappy with Bella, and tried to pretend that I didn't exist with different levels of anger. I was allowed to visit Bella, but only in my designated visiting hours. That might have worked with any other boyfriend, but being able to silently climb through Bella's upstairs window defiantly had its perks.

I had resumed school, but now had every class with Bella. Mike's expression and thought on my first day back had left me near hysterics. The hatred he felt towards me only seemed to have increased.

Bella was happy again, with one little expression. She still missed the _dog_. I tried to control my feelings and language when she brought up the subject, which was annoyingly a lot of late. He was ignoring her completely, refusing to answer her calls, and because of her 'house arrest' she wasn't at liberty to go and see him. I was secretly relieved at this. I knew I couldn't cross the treaty line without provoking a war, and I couldn't let Bella near that _dog_ in fear of her getting hurt. He had so little self control because he was still a child. He may have been taller than me, but that was all he could lay claim to.

We were in the middle of another one of these _Jacob_ conversations as I picked Bella up from work. The windscreen fogged slightly as Bella entered the car, the driving rain making it even harder to see, if I had been human of course.

I patiently listened to her angry outburst, speaking quietly and trying very hard not to hurt her feelings. As much as I hated him, Bella liked him, and so I had to be civil and understanding when this topic came around.

Bella finished her little rant and looked at me, smiling half-heartedly. I wasn't paying much attention though.

Charlie's head was filled with undiluted anger. Something red flashed through his mind, but I wasn't quite able to hear it.

"Your already in more trouble, Bella." I had no doubt about who he was angry with. His yelling was almost as loud as his thoughts.

Bella slid closer to me, her heart beat rising. She looked out, following my gaze.

"What? What is it?" she asked in a timid voice.

I took a deep breath. I knew what Charlie was angry about now. "Charlie..."I started.

"My Dad?" she yelled sitting up straighter.

I turned my face towards her, my calmness managing to settle her heart rate a little.

I could hear the dog as well, his cussing quite loud.

I started again. "Charlie... is probably _not_ going to kill you, but he's thinking about it."

I started driving again, realising I had stopped in my concentration. The rain had also slowed to a light drizzle.

I pulled past the house, parking slightly before the trees of the surrounding forest.

Bella was still staring at me, shock distorting her features. "What did I do?" she asked me, sounding highly uneasy.

I looked back towards the house, there, sitting loud and proud on Charlie's driveway, was Bella's motorbike from her daredevil days.

"No!" she gasped. "_Why?_ Why would Jacob do this to me?" she looked absolutely appalled, before anger began to colour her cheeks. Tears sprang to her eyes, tears of anger.

"Is he still here?" she hissed.

"Yes he's waiting for us there." I told her, nodding towards the slender path that split the dark fringe of the forest in two.

Quickly she launched herself out of the car, her slender hands curled into tight fists. What did she think she was doing?

I quickly followed her, wrapping my arms around her warm, delicate waist before she made the path.

She struggled slightly before yelling. "Let me go! I'm going to murder him! _Traitor!" _she shouted the epithet towards the trees.

"Charlie will hear you." I tried to quieten her, but she still tried to escape my grasp. I didn't let go. There was no way she was going near the _pup_. "And once he gets you inside, he may brick over the doorway." I wasn't exaggerating either. Charlie had heard her, and his anger was rising.

"Just give me one round with Jacob then I'll deal with Charlie." She struggled futilely to break free.

"Jacob Black wants to see _me_. That's why he's still here."

Bella became completely still and I almost dropped her. Fear began to creep into her eyes. She mouthed the words _Paris falls_. Was that a Romeo and Juliet quote?

"Talk?" she asked very quietly.

Jacob's thought were starting to annoy me, so my answer wasn't very articulated.

"More or less." I muttered staring at Jacob through the trees, his face bitter.

"How much more?" Bella asked, her voice shaking.

I looked down at her. She was scared. Then I realised the significance of the quote. They were the stage directions for the return of Romeo. _They fight; Paris falls_.

I knew that was Bella's favourite Shakespeare, and both her and I had previously pointed out parallels to our love. Obviously she associated Jacob with Paris. It was a fair association.

I brushed some stray hair from her face. "Don't worry," I murmured soothingly. "He's not here to fight me. He's acting as... spokesperson for the pack." I struggled to complete the sentence without hurting her feelings.

"Oh." She said, calming slightly.

A particularly large swearword caught my attention as Charlie's impatience grew.

I tightened my arms around Bella's waist and pulled her quickly towards the woods.

"We should hurry. Charlie's getting impatient." I offered as way of explanation.

We found Jacob waiting further up the path, his face twisted in hate. A low snarl made its way up my throat, to low for Bella to hear. Jacob's hearing was better however.

His mouth stretched into a humourless sneer, and he shrugged away from the tree.

_Ha, Bloodsucker's shorter than I am._ He noted with pleasure.

As soon as I was sure Bella could see him I stopped, leaving as much distance between us as possible.

I turned my body, shifting Bella so that she was behind me. I hated her being even this close to him. I watched with anger and unease as his fists shook, showing his lack of control.

I felt Bella lean around me to stare at him, and felt slightly happier when her anger registered with him.

"Bella." Jacob said as a greeting nodding once to her without taking his eyes off me.

"Why?" Bella's little heartbroken whisper asked. "How could you do that to me Jacob?"

Pain rippled through the dog as he realised how much that hurt her. He didn't want to hurt her, but thought it was for the best.

His sneer disappeared, but his face was still hard. "It's for the best." He voiced his thoughts.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" she demanded, anger creeping back into her voice. "Do you want Charlie to _strangle_ me? Or did you want him to have a heart attack like Harry? No matter how mad you are at me, how could you do this to _him?_"

His resolve faltered, his eyebrows pulling together in thought.

I replayed what he thought to Bella, she deserved to know.

"He didn't want to hurt anyone—he just wanted to get you grounded, so that you wouldn't be allowed to spend time with me." Anger and outrage flashed across Jacob's face at the intrusion into his mind, but quickly disappeared again.

"Aw, Jake!" Bella groaned. "I'm _already_ grounded! Why do you think I haven't been down to La Push to kick your butt for avoiding my phone calls?" again, I was thankful for Charlie's stringent rules.

For the first time, the Dogs eyes flashed to Bella's face, confusion showing through.

"That's why?" he asked her. _Damn, I thought it was _him_ that was stopping her_.

I explained again. "He thought _I_ wouldn't let you, not Charlie."

"Stop that." He snapped, and I let out another very soft growl. Who was he to tell me what to do?

Jacob shuddered once, gritting his teeth.

"Bella wasn't exaggerating about your..." his mind flashed to that memory, him and Bella on the beach. "...abilities. so you must already know why I'm here."

"Yes, but before you begin I need to say something." I wondered how he would take this. _I _needed to do this but I didn't know if he could take it.

"Thank you." I said, sincerity ringing with every letter. "I will never be able to tell you how grateful I am. I will owe you for the rest of my...existence." I tried to find the right word. Jacob was looking at me in shock.

"For keeping Bella alive," I clarified, watching as he cast a look to Bella. "When I...didn't."

"Edward—" Bella started to say, but I held my hand up, intent on Jacob.

Understanding rushed through him before his cold mask returned. "I didn't do it for your benefit."

"I know. But that doesn't erase the gratitude I feel." My change from hatred to gratitude startled him, leaving him slightly off balance.

"I thought you should know. If there's ever anything in my power to do for you..." I trailed off.

Jacob eyed me suspiciously, raising one brow. _How about you leave?_

I shook my head. "That's not in my power."

"Whose then?" he growled.

I looked down at my beautiful Bella, enjoying the sight of her. "Hers. I'm a quick learner Jacob Black, and I don't make the same mistake twice. I'm here till she orders me away."

Bella looked up at me a slight smile turning her lips upwards.

"Never." She whispered, and my heart swelled.

Jacob made a gagging sound and Bella turned towards him, a slight frown replacing her happy expression.

"Was there something else you needed, Jacob?" I noticed how she was using his full name again and I smiled. "You wanted me in trouble—mission accomplished." She went on. "Charlie might just send me to military school. But that won't keep me away from Edward. There's nothing that can do _that_. What more do you want?"

Jacob kept his eyes on me, going through the rules of the treaty, but keeping something from me.

"I just needed to remind your bloodsucking friends of a few key points in the treaty they agreed to. The treaty is the only thing stopping me from ripping his throat out right this minute." Then he let it slip. The thought he was trying to hide from me. This couldn't end well.

"We haven't forgotten." I said at the same time Bella demanded, "What key points?"

Jacob was still glaring at me, but he answered her.

"The treaty is quite specific. If any of them bite a human, the truce is over. _Bite_ not kill." He emphasized. He looked at Bella.

I felt her stiffen next to me. "That's none of your business." She said coldly.

"The hell it—" Jacob began, but then the implications of her words hit him.

He almost started convulsing, but didn't phase. He was close though.

"Jake? You okay?"Bella asked anxiously.

She took a half step towards him, but quickly pulled her back behind me. "Careful! He's not under control." I warned her. She was too compassionate for her own good.

Jacob scowled at me, pure hate evident in his eyes. "Urg. _I_ would never hurt her."

Neither me nor Bella missed the inflection, or the accusation it contained. A slightly louder hiss escaped my lips, and I knew Bella heard it.

"Bella!" Charlie's roar echoed from the direction of the house. "YOU GET IN THIS HOUSE THIS INSTANT!"

We all froze, listening the silence that followed.

Bella spoke, but her voice trembled. "Crap."

Jacob's furious expression faltered. "I _am_ sorry about that," he muttered. "I had to do what I could—I had to try..."

"Thanks." The tremor in her voice ruining the sarcasm.

I could quite clearly hear Charlie pacing, and decided to finish the conversation.

"Just one more thing," I said to Bella before turning to Jacob. "We've found no trace of Victoria on our side of the line—have you?"

"The last time was while Bella was...away. We let her think she was slipping through—we were tightening the circle, getting ready to ambush her, but the she took off like a bat out of hell. Near as we can tell, she caught your little female's scent and bailed. She hasn't come near our lands since."

I nodded. "When she comes back, she's not your problem anymore. We'll—"

"She killed on our turf," he hissed. "She's ours!"

"No—" Bella began, only to be cut off by Charlie.

"_BELLA! _I _SEE_ HIS CAR AND I _KNOW_ YOU'RE OUT THERE! IF YOU AREN'T _INSIDE_ THIS HOUSE IN _ONE_ MINUTE...!" Charlie didn't bother to finish his threat.

"Let's go." I said quickly.

"Sorry," he whispered so low, Bella wouldn't have heard him. "Bye, Bells."

"You promised." She reminded him desperately. "Still friends, right?"

He shook his head slowly.

"You know how hard I've tried to keep that promise, but...I can't see how to keep trying. Not now..."

He looked upset, and of course Bella immediately forgave him for everything. She was just like that.

"Miss you." He mouthed stretching his arm out in a last ditch effort.

"Me too." Bella choked out, moving her hand out in an imitation of his.

"Jake..." she tried to take a step towards him, but I held her back. I just couldn't let her go. Not to him. What if she never came back? What is he took her from me? I just couldn't handle it.

"It's okay." She looked up at me, trying to show me the trust she felt.

I knew my expression was cold. "No, it's not."

"Let her go." Jacob snarled at me, furious again. "She _wants_ to!" He took two long steps forward. A glint of anticipation flashed in his eyes. He shuddered, getting ready to phase.

I pushed Bella behind myself, wheeling to face Jacob, my expression identical to his.

"No! Edward—!" Bella tried to cut in.

"ISABELLA _SWAN!_"

"Come on! Charlie's mad!" her voice was panicked again, but not for Charlie.

_They fight; Paris falls._ Yeah, I wish.

She tugged on my arm, and I relaxed again. Another time then.

I pulled her back slowly, always keeping my eyes on the dog as we retreated.

Just as he vanished behind the trees, pain crossed his features, but it was nothing, _nothing,_ compared to how I would feel if Bella left _me_.

We walked back to the house, but Bella dragged her feet, looking in panic towards the house that contained the very angry Charlie.

I squeezed her gently. "I'm here." I whispered in her ear.

She took a deep breath and walked towards the house.

Yes, I was here, and _he_ wasn't. Jacob Black would fight dirty, I knew that.

But just because I was a gentleman didn't mean I wouldn't fight harder.

_That was the last chapter of new moon! Yay!! I hoped you all liked it and I was up to scratch with Edward's POV. Thankyou so much for all of the reviews! I love to read them :) so maybe you can give me one for finishing this story because they make me smile_

_Thanks for reading. _


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